Page 29 of Must Love Dogs… and Hockey

“I still think Easton is kind of a cocky jerk. But he’s hot as hell. He asked me out and I turned him down. Doesn’t that make things awkward?”

“Hmm. Yeah. But you two could have a frank conversation about it being just a business relationship.”

“I suppose that would be the mature way to handle it.”

“Right.”

“Except he’s hot as hell.”

“You already said that,” Carlin says dryly. “Are you worried you’ll jump him?”

“Ha ha.” I pause. “Yes.”

She laughs. “Look, I think if you want to start your own business, you should take clients wherever you can. Starting your own business is risky.”

I stop walking and face Carlin. “Are you worried about me being able to pay you back? Or pay the rent?”

“No! I told you, don’t even worry about that.”

I tilt my head. For the first time, I’m not sure I believe her.

I’ve had a feeling for a while now that Carlin would like to move in with William. Like I said, they spend a lot of time at his place and I wonder if she’s tired of paying rent on a place she’s hardly ever at. And I wonder if the reason she doesn’t move in with him is because she knows I can’t afford our apartment on my own. Guilt churns in my stomach.

“I’m just being realistic,” she says. “Owning your own business is great, but it’s not like a steady paycheck and benefits.”

I resume walking, Otis yanking on the leash. “Been there, done that. Look how it worked out.”

“True.”

After a short pause, I say quietly, “I don’t want to be a victim again. I don’t want other people to be in charge of my life. I want to be in charge of my own life.”

“I know, Lill. I know.” She squeezes my arm.

I sigh. I get it. I’d be an idiot to turn down this job when I’m trying to start a business. “Okay, yeah, I’m going to take the job. But only because I need the money. And because it’s Otis.”

Chapter 6

Easton

I wake up Sunday morning after a decent sleep, but I’m still irritable. I should be feeling great. I scored the winning goal last night! And even though we won the game, that wasn’t good enough for Coach. After the way he chewed out Wendy on the bench when he turned over the puck right in front of our net and cost us a goal, I was so pissed I was shaking. Nobody was happy about it, but shit happens, right? Coach then proceeded to lecture us in the dressing room about everything we did wrong and the flight home was quiet and tense. We should have been celebrating the win. What the fuck?

The one thing making me happy is going to pick up Otis.

Yeah, I guess I’m keeping the little guy.

After Cookie bugging me about it, I resigned myself to the fact that I don’t want to give him away. Much as he demands my attention, it’s kind of cool to be needed, and talking to him is better than talking to my dead brother. Although I do still talk to Bryce sometimes. Hell, I’ve talked to him about Otis. I know it’s just temporary, though. His owner’s going to come looking for him at some point.

But I definitely need help to look after him. Which means I definitely need Lilly.

I hope she’s going to take my job offer. If she doesn’t, I guess I can find other options, but I like her and she loves Otis even though he’s not hers, and I like that. I know she takes good care of him.

I’ve also thought about her smile. Her curves. Her long legs and sweet ass. I guess that’s not appropriate if she’s going to be an employee. Damn.

After eating a couple of pieces of toast and peanut butter, I fill a travel mug with coffee and set off on a brisk walk to Lilly’s place. It’s a frosty morning, but sunny, and as I pass the park there are already lots of people walking and running. The river glints in the distance as I walk by the statue of Eleanor Roosevelt.

I relive moments from last night, replaying Coach’s words and his tone of voice and how fuckingangryhe made me. I have to figure out a way to deal with this. This is what got me in trouble in Vancouver. The day I lost my shit and squirted an opponent with a water bottle from the bench and ended up with a game misconduct and a big fine was when I knew my days there were numbered. I’ve always had a short fuse, but I thought coming here would give me a chance to start over and work on it. Little did I know my self-control would be tested even more. It’s getting harder and harder to deal with it. I need to figure it out, though, because hockey’s all I have left. I’ve lost so much in my life; no way can I let this be taken away from me too.

I take a few deep breaths of crisp air and let them out slowly as I walk so I don’t step into Lilly’s apartment a seething disaster. I have to get a grip.Think about Otis. Think about Lilly.

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