Page 115 of You Had Me at Hockey

“Oh. Oh no. I’m so sorry.”

She moves closer and lies on me, sliding her arms around me. I hold her tight. We’re quiet for a long time. I knew it was coming, but it’s still fucking hard.

“You okay?” she whispers eventually.

“Yeah.” I clear my throat. “I’m so goddamn lucky I got to meet that guy. Neither of us planned it, but it was amazing. If I hadn’t been traded here, I wouldn’t have met him either.”

She nods.

Knowing Carter has shaped me, just like knowing Sara has, and knowing Easton, and nearly dying in a bus crash. Everything that’s happened to me has shaped who I am. I just wanted to be the me from before the accident, and not be afraid anymore. But that me is gone. I’m a different person now.

And I’m not afraid.

Because having someone else to care about and worry about takes away the selfishness of my fears. Loving Sara makes it easy to be brave.

“Roses are red…”

She lifts her head to peer up at me. Her eyes are damp, even though she didn’t know Carter.

“Violets are blue. My heart is full of love for you.”

Her face glows as she touches my face. “Same.”

Epilogue

Sara

I always thought I was too weird for someone to love. And I didn’t know if I’d ever find someoneIwould love. But I found someone—mysomeone, who sees me for who I really am, someone who accepts that I’m honest and smart and, yes, maybe a little crazy. I’ve had mental health struggles and I probably will again, I’m impetuous and distractible, but Josh loves me anyway.

I’m at my desk, sitting in front of my laptop. Josh is stretched out on my couch, reading. The playoffs start tomorrow. We’ve been going out and doing fun things because we won’t see each other much over the next few weeks. Or months, depending how things go for them. I hate that, but I know this is his life. And I’ll be cheering him on.

I’ve been feeling great. So happy and content and confident.

Until now, as I see myself talked about online on a WAGs (Wives and Girlfriends) blog. And when I say talked about, I mean trashed.

It’s not like this has never happened to me. I’ve taken my share of criticism and abuse from trolls and haters. I know it doesn’t matter. But this time…it’s because I’m with Josh.

I’ve never said anything publicly about our relationship. I’m totally open about my life. People who watch my videos know nearly everything about me. But relationships are different. That brings another person into the mix and I feel protective of Josh.

But somehow word has gotten out.

“Josh.”

“Mmm?”

“Do you care if people know we’re together?”

“Do I care?” He rolls and sits up. “I don’t care. We’re together. It is what it is.”

“Some people don’t like that.”

“Fuck ’em.”

“This website posted a picture of me…” I shake my head. “It’s, like, me on my worst day. No makeup, sweaty hair, just leaving Ignite. I look awful. They’re saying I’m not good enough for you.”

He’s on his feet and beside me in a flash. He closes the lid of my laptop. “Don’t read that horseshit.”

I pout. “I know I shouldn’t. If it was just me, I wouldn’t care. But I don’t want them thinking that you’re stuck with some loser.”

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