Page 63 of You Had Me at Hockey

My eyes pop wide and my heart lurches. “I knew something was wrong! Are you okay? What happened?”

He waves a hand. “No, no. I went to visit sick kids. Part of the hockey deal.”

I blow out a breath. “Oh. Okay.” My eyebrows pull together. “What does that have to do with hockey?”

“We try to give back to the community. We’re all involved in some kind of cause. In Dallas, I worked with a foundation connected to the team.”

I blink at him, my heart going all soft. “Oh. Wow.”

He nods. “So the Bears arranged this and I went with three other guys today. Only…the first kid I visited I ended up staying with the whole time.”

I tilt my head, my attention locked on him.

He tells me about the boy he met—Carter—and how they bonded. My heart squeezes and aches at hearing about Carter’s cancer and the treatments he’s had, and he’s only nine years old. Hearing about the Bears ball cap to hide his hair loss nearly makes me lose it.

Then he says, “I didn’t want to go to the hospital at all. After I spent months there, I never wanted to see a hospital again.”

It takes a couple of beats for that to process, and then I close my eyes on a wave of guilt and sorrow. “Oh, Josh.” I pull in a long breath. “What about that night…when I had my reaction?”

He doesn’t answer right away, rubbing his mouth. “I didn’t want to go that night either. But you were in trouble. Ihadto go.”

I roll my lips inward because they’re trembling. “I’m so sorry.”

He waves a hand. “Don’t apologize. It’smyissue. Anyway, I did it. I survived. And I did it again today. And…I feel like maybe I learned something from that little dude.”

I press my fingertips to my mouth, my eyes stinging. “Like what?”

“Like…he’s going through hell. Every day. And…nobody knows if he’s going to make it. But he just lives above all that.”

I swallow and give a jerky nod.

“And maybe I need to be like that. Not live in the past that makes me bitter. And pissed. And resentful. I’m so goddamn lucky.” He closes his eyes.

I shift across the small couch and lean my head against his shoulder. “You went through a lot. And it sounds like Carter is too.”

“I want to go see him again. Is that crazy?”

My throat pinches. “No. Of course not. It sounds like you’d make his life a little brighter.”

“Fuck. I hope so.”

“Then do it.”

He nods. “Okay. I will.” He draws back and meets my eyes. “Thank you. I knew you were the one I wanted to talk to about this.”

My eyelashes flutter rapidly, my lips pouting, my heart hammering. “I’m here anytime you want to talk.”

He leans his forehead against mine. “That is so fucking good to know.”

We stay like that for a stretched-out moment…heat, desire, and understanding pulsing between us.

Finally, I say, “Can we order food? I’m starving.”

Josh chokes on a laugh. “Yeah. Let’s do that.”

We order cheesesteak egg rolls to share, and we both get burgers, his with chipotle jam and guacamole, mine with bacon and swiss cheese. And a bottle of rosé.

“I think I should make my own brand of rosé wine,” I say as we eat. “What do you think?”

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