Page 72 of Body Shot

“No. It’s not. There are parts of life that are shitty and tough as hell. You know that. Which makes it even more important to enjoy the fuck out of the parts that aren’t.”

“So you’re saying I should see Beck again and let him take me on some crazy adventures.”

“Yes, I am.”

I nod slowly, even though my insides are in knots. “I’m not sure if I can do that.”

“I know it’s hard for you to let go and loosen up.”

“It’s not just that. It’s . . . well, having all these feelings is . . . frightening.”

“And yet your dude is jumping out of a plane right now.”

I push out my bottom lip briefly as I contemplate that. “That does make me sound pretty gutless, doesn’t it?”

“It does. Go for it! Just enjoy it!” Carrie looks at the girl now painting her toenails Pinkalicious. “What doyouthink, Adena?”

Adena smiles. “Well, it’s none of my business for sure, but this guy sounds really hot, so I agree.”

“Me too,” says Julia, one hand holding my foot with the bottle of Candy Apple polish expertly supported, her other hand with the tiny brush poised above my toes. “It sounds like you need fun.”

“That’s exactly what I’ve been saying!” Carrie says.

I pull in a long breath and let it out as Julia strokes glossy red polish onto a nail. I’m not even sure I’ll ever hear from Beck again, but whatever crazy idea he comes up with next, I’ll go for it.

Maybe.

No, I will.

Probably.

Depending.

17

BECK

I drive along Otay Lakes Road after a tandem jump, feeling alive with adrenaline buzzing in my veins. Alive and horny.

I grin. Adrenaline does that to me.

I pass by the brown hills dotted with chaparral, the grass dry and dusty. On the other side of the road, the water of Lower Otay Lake sits still and calm, reflecting the trees and sky.

Telling Hayden about my fear of heights made me reflect back on my first time jumping out of a plane and how I’d been sure I was going to piss myself. Or puke. Or both. But I’d done it and now there’s nothing like it.

People pay good money to tandem jump with a Navy SEAL, and the money goes to the Trident Foundation, a win-win-win situation.

I imagine giving Hayden that experience—her strapped to me as we jump. My grin broadens. Christ, going to the beach for a walk spontaneously was an adventure for her. I can’t even imagine the rush she’d get from skydiving.

But yeah, when she turned me down, I knew it was too soon. I want to open her world to some of the crazy things I like, but I can’t do that all at once. And again, I’m not sure why I have this intense need to do this for her. With her. Exploring things with her, surprised to find challenging her straight-laced views, finding hidden treasures beneath her surface . . .

That itself is kind of an adrenaline rush.

I eventually hit I-5, merging into the speeding Sunday afternoon traffic. I pass by Chula Vista, Coronado, National City, the skyscrapers of downtown San Diego, then exit onto Mission Bay Drive, turning onto Grand Avenue. As I near Hayden’s street, I slow down.

Is she home from her afternoon at the spa with her friend? I don’t want to go home to my empty condo. I could go back to Conquistadors, but I want to see her. I turn onto her street, taking a chance.

She answers the door with a bemused expression. “Beck. What are you doing here?”

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