Page 18 of Long Shot

“A lot of guys have a hard time adjusting to life outside the military. It’s not uncommon.”

I blink.

“No, really. Are you feeling on edge? Emotionally numb and disconnected? Isolated and emotionally cut off from others?”

“Uh . . . no—”

“If that’s how you feel, you need to know you’re not alone.” Marco leans forward. “You can get help.”

Okay, therewasan adjustment period after leaving the Navy, but I’m pretty sure I’m doing okay. Having my two buddies—who I consider my family—around all the time definitely helped. We’ve all had to adapt, but at least we’ve been there for each other.

“You’re not feeling suicidal, are you?” Beck demands.

“Christ, no!” I sigh. “Okay, it’s not exactly PTSD, but I may have had the odd nightmare about biking.” I clear my throat, heat washing over me.

“Flashbacks?” Beck asks.

“Youareavoiding it,” Marco observes.

Yes. Yes, I am.

“Hmm.” Marco rubs his chin. “Having exaggerated negative beliefs about yourself. Persistent feelings of shame.” He arches an eyebrow.

“Fuck. I don’t want to talk about this.”

“That’s more avoidance.” Marco’s chin lifts.

“You know how they treat PTSD,” Beck says.

I shrug. “Cognitive behavioral therapy. Desensitization.”

“Exactly,” Beck says. “And that means getting back on a bike. So we’ll go for an easy ride along the boardwalk. Just to Mission Beach and back.”

“What is this, an intervention?” My shoulders tighten up.

Beck shrugs. “Guess you could call it that.”

“What the hell?”

Marco sighs. “Just trying to help, buddy. Come on. You can’t keep up this lifestyle.”

I want to be pissed. I want to argue. I want to deflect by blaming this on the fact that Beck and Marco are all settled down with women now and possibly just jealous of my single life.

But the truth is . . . I’m tired of it, too. “I haven’t hooked up with anyone in a couple of weeks,” I finally say, not meeting their eyes.

“Really?” Beck looks at Marco. “What about Carlotta?”

“That was weeks ago. Months, maybe.”

“Huh.” Marco makes a face. “Okay, then.”

“Hold up,” Beck says. “I’m curious. What’s up with you and Reese?”

I still. “Nothing. Why?”

“We’ve mentioned this before. You keep looking at her.”

“She works for us. Ihaveto look at her.”

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