Page 20 of GDL

"I'd like to, but I can't," I start, hoping he thinks my voice sounds a little off because he literally rocked my world, not because I'm keeping a huge secret from him. "Have an early start tomorrow. I want to hit the road early to beat the traffic."

Sawyer doesn't move, staring at me with that intense reporter look he gets sometimes, and I just know he knowsI'm hiding something. My stomach churns, which really sucks because not moments earlier, I'd been on such a high.

"All right." He gets up and extends his hand. I take it as he says, "At least have a shower and let me help you get cleaned up."

We have a shower. And he does help me get cleaned up…

After fucking me one more time.

"Why do you have vomit on your shoulder?" Sawyer asks two days later.

I'm exhausted. Worried out of my mind. And with vomit on my shoulder, apparently.

"Sorry, what?" I've just taken my jacket off and sat down next to Sawyer in the VIP section of Hollywood's newest hotspot.

Concern flickers in his eyes, and I don't blame him. I look like shit. Dark circles under my eyes from not getting a wink of sleep last night, my hair's a stringy mess, and these jeans have seen better days. Not exactly a good look to be out in public in, but I honestly couldn't care less. I don't want to be here.

I grab a shot from the tray on the table and throw it back. After returning from visiting Logan and Wade yesterday afternoon, Ashton started coughing. Then throwing up. By the evening, he was running a fever. I rushed him to my doctor, and it turns out the little guy's got a stomach bug. I canceled my day's plans but wasn't able to get out of this event since BBA are getting paid 50k each to make an appearance here.

Sawyer places a hand on my lap. "How about we get some fresh air?"

"That'd be great." I tell the other guys where I'm going then follow Sawyer through the packed club and up a flight of stairs that leads to an open—and thankfully empty—rooftop.

"How do you know about this place?"

"It mentioned a private rooftop in the invite. I've never been much of a partyer, so whenever I go to these sorts of things, I always make sure to find out if there are any quiet areas I can escape to at some point."

"I like your thinking," I reply when what I really want to say is: I really fucking missed you even though we only spent one day without seeing each other.

Being apart made me realize how much of a fixture he's become in my life in such a short span of time. Doesn't help that I spent most of yesterday with Logan and Wade talking about him. Sure, they had questions about Ashton and how all that came about, too, but they were intrigued that I've got feelings for someone when I've always been Mr. Keep it Casual. There's also the fact that Sawyer's a man, and a much older man at that, which, as Logan enjoyed pointing outrepeatedly, is something he'd expect from our other brother, Bodhi, who famously has a major thing for older dudes.

Guess he's not the only one.

The more I verbalized what's been going on between Sawyer and me and the feelings I'm developing for him, the more it made them real. That was a blessing and a curse because it also made me even more aware of how fragile this thing is. How many challenges and obstacles we face if we have even the slightest hope in hell of making it work.

We walk over to the edge. The air is surprisingly still. I stare out at the grid of buildings around us, admiring the beautiful, chaotic way LA sprawls out in every direction. There are twinkling lights as far as the eye can see.

"How was your trip?" Sawyer's deep voice slices through the night air. "Was it nice to see your brother?"

"It was. He's recently started dating his best friend, so it was cool to see them both so happy."

"Ah, the joys of new love."

"Exactly." Without thinking, I reach over and take Sawyer's hand. "I feel better already. Thank you for this."

Sawyer looks at our connected hands then back up at me and smiles. "I'm glad to hear it."

I tell him a bit more about Thickehead, the small mountain town I grew up in, and some of the kooky people who call it home, being careful not to accidentally let anything about Ashton slip out.

I hate holding this back from Sawyer, but I feel like I should tell the rest of my family next. Logan had a quiet word with me before I left, telling me he was slightly hurt I'd told BBA before him, and I see his point. I can admit when I'm wrong, and it might have been a mistake not telling my blood family first.

Changing the topic, I say, "Tell me about your sons."

"They're my proudest achievement." Sawyer breaks out into a huge smile. "Finch is making a name for himself in sports reporting. He's mad about cycling and is hoping to score the first interview with Jaxon Ducati after his big drug scandal."

"You Bannister men love chasing a big story."

Sawyer turns to me and winks. "We sure do."

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