Page 36 of Spit Screen

“You realize Daniel will want to know where you are?” I ask Addison.

“Daniel will be enthralled with Auntie Emma like he always is.”

I grin. The way children gravitate to different adults always intrigues me. Vicki took to Tamara instantly. Daniel has been the same way with me since he was born.

“And you hate it,” Addison teases me.

I shrug. It's not a secret I delight in the kids’ attention and affection. That’s another trait Addy and I share. I likely would have become a teacher if I hadn't pursued acting. As much as I love my career, there will never be a role that means more to me than being a mother. I’ve always had this image of having a family with three children, and I feel incredibly blessed to have been granted my wish. But I would have welcomed the chance for another baby. Before my cancer diagnosis, Addy and I discussed the possibility of adding to our family. Getting pregnant at forty is not as easy as in your thirties. We were both hesitant about trying for another baby, knowing that it could be costly and potentially disappointing. While discussing my treatment options, Addy shared our conversation with my doctor. I love my doctor. She offered the possibility of postponing a total hysterectomy or attempting an egg retrieval but strongly advised the best course of action for a full recovery, with no cancer recurrence, was to proceed with the surgery. There was no debate between Addy and me. I needed to be healthy for our family—for Addy, too. Our reality and our decision about how to confront my cancer, in no small way, allowed us both to reconsider what we wanted to do with our careers. And that has led us to this weekend.

We love having a house full of family and friends and watching our children play with their cousins. That's one reason I hope everyone will be open to creating something together on the East Coast. My brothers' kids are older than our children. My nephews Andrew and Evan adore Vicki, Hannah, and Noah. But they're both preparing for college, and their lives are busy with friends and girlfriends—as it should be. Bringing our childrencloser to Tam, Christie, Jeff, and Sandra would give them the same opportunity I had growing up—playing, growing up with, and occasionally being annoyed by my siblings and cousins.

Addy's childhood differed dramatically from mine. She was an only child and didn't have many children who lived close to her parents. She has two cousins she still talks to frequently, but both are older. One lives in Florida, and the other is still in Maine. Addy's closest friendships only emerged once she was in college. She had friendshipsin school, but they didn't endure into her adulthood. While our experiences are nearly opposite, they've landed us on the same page about our family. We have always agreed on the importance of our children having long-lasting relationships.

Addison tips her head, sensing my thoughts have wandered. “Em? Are you sure you want me to go to the pond? I can come home instead.”

I shake my head. “Go on. Just don’t bring home any more tadpoles—please.”

Addy laughs. “Frogs?”

I pick up a dishtowel and throw it at Addy. “Get out of my kitchen.”

Addy chuckles and scampers from the kitchen, calling for Noah to follow her.

I shake my head again and look at my mother, “If she catches anything again, you are keeping it at your house.”

My mother laughs. “Emma?”

“Hm?”

“I don’t mean to pry.”

“But where did I disappear to?”

“If you don’t want to talk about it, I understand.”

“It’s okay, Mom. How about a cup of coffee? I could probably use the jolt,” I say, turning to start the coffee pot.

“I never refuse coffee. You know that,” Mom says. “I have to go easy on the caffeine at home or your father will insist he gets to partake.”

I laugh.

“So don’t tell on me,” she says.

“You agree to free the tadpoles, frogs, toads, and fish Addy catches with the kids today before they make it to my house, and we have a deal.”

“Deal. I hope you realize Evan and Andrew are likely to take the kids to the pond with buckets before the weekend is over. And Noah will have everything they catch named before they make it to your yard.”

“He’s going to become a zookeeper,” I say as I place two mugs on the table and retrieve the milk from the refrigerator. All my children love animals—Noah most of all. He’s constantly bringing me tadpoles, fish, frogs, toads, and bugs. It’s a good thing Addy grew up hiking, fishing, and hunting, and I was raised with two brothers because Noah finds some of the creepiest creatures you might imagine. And he names every one of them! The only time I’ve seen Addy cringe was when Noah and I found a garter snake by the pond. I’m not sure I've ever laughed as hard as I did at the shriek that came out of my wife. “Let’s hope Noah doesn’t find any snakes for Addy.”

Mom laughs. “Emmie?”

I sigh as I retrieve the coffee pot and make my way back to the table.

“Is everything okay?” Mom asks.

I pour coffee into our cups, set the pot aside, and take a seat across from my mother. It isn’t lost on me how fortunate I am. My mom isn’t only kind and generous, she’s honest—sometimes, brutally so. She never offers an opinion to be hurtful, and she doesn’t give unsolicited advice. But if you ask my mother how she feels about anything or anyone, she will tell you the truth—even if she knows it is not what you want to hear. I detect worry pulling at her eyes.

“Everything is good, Mom, I promise.”

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