Page 18 of Revisions

Being president is an honor, and it’s also a position I wish to keep. I want to say all my reasons are selfless. No one reaches this level of political life without ambition and a fair amount of ego, and I recognize that more than most of my supporters do. People often confuse confidence—even cockiness—with narcissism. Existing under the relentless glare of a blaring spotlight requires a degree of vanity. You have to enjoy attention if you hope to withstand the criticism and cruelty that come withit. It’s another reality that demandsbalance. Of course, I care about what people think of me. I care about my legacy. But I also understand that I can’t control those perceptions. I might influence them, but others will define my legacy. Some will venerate me; others will condemn me. Only a few will strive tounderstandme. I am constantly reminded of that reality.

I’ve enjoyed close relationships with previous presidents. I promise you, that is not enough to prepare someone for the pressure of the presidency. But it isn’t the demands on my time, experience, or emotions, the critiques from the press, or the controversies stirred by others that sometimes make me question my decision to run for this office. The burden it places on my family takes the greatest toll on me. It’s not my absences that cause Jameson and my children the most anxiety; it’s how people talk about me and the inability to punch back. Keeping everyone calm after the bombing required more diplomacy than any G7 summit I could attend.

Politics is the unavoidable partner of governing. Any elected leader hoping to stay in office is always campaigning. Maybe it shouldn’t be that way, but it always has been. It’s become more complicated for me than it used to be. Jameson’s uncle has made it his mission to attack our family any chance he gets. And then there’s Laura.

I often think back to when I discovered Jonah’s girlfriend is Lawson Klein’s daughter. Everyone around me was buzzing, worrying about how it would affect my political future. My first reaction was amusement, which quickly turned to concern for Jonah. It’s ironic. Jonah is so much like Jameson that it often leaves me breathless. And God knows, he looks up to her—he lookstoher as well. And Laura reminds me of myself at her age.

Lawson Klein presents a greater challenge for me than any hate group. It doesn’t help that his rhetoric emboldens those groups. But I’m not afraid to face him in a debate or competewith him at the ballot box. I worry about Laura. No matter what Lawson has done or can do, he’s Laura’s father. A part of her craves his acceptance and, more importantly, his affection. That’s natural. She’s often torn between her anger at him for what he says about me and her desire to bridge the gap between them. It reminds me that I can never stop trying, no matter how futile my attempts to reach people like Lawson or the American Brethren may be. Real people, including those I love, are always caught in the middle. I need a friendly voice.

I’m sure Jameson will be surprised by my call.

“Candace?”

“That’s what they tell me,” I reply.

“Uh-oh. Don’t tell me Congressman Briggs got caught with his hand in the cookie jar or his hand on an intern.”

I laugh gratefully. Congressman Thomas Briggs won an unlikely seat in a predominately red district in Indiana. Many would call him a Blue Dog Democrat, although he doesn’t claim admission to any caucus. He’s a center-right Democrat who might have found a home in the Republican party of my youth. I like Tom. We disagree on some things. He’s a reasoned politician—someone who wants to get things done. He knows that passing lasting legislation takes time. He also understands there is a need for fighting, silence, and compromise. His reelection is seen by most as an uphill battle. A few of his advisers counseled him to keep a distance from me. Tom understands something political wonks who focus on polls and the press don’t. Everyone knows he’s more aligned with me than he is opposed to my policies. As Luke pointed out, Indiana may not be Reid Country, but I have more enthusiastic supporters than any poll reveals. Tom knows that. Avoiding me risks alienating them. And he needs them to show up on election day.

“Thankfully, Tom seems to know to keep his hands to himself,” I say.

“Mm. Didn’t he have a crush on you?”

I laughed. “Stop.”

“He wanted to be First Lady. I think his wife told me that.”

“Jameson!” I laugh harder. “You really are a lunatic.”

“Well, I am committed.”

“Thanks,” I say.

“Who pissed you off today?”

I sigh.

“Candace?”

“No one. The American Brethren are planning to protest at Tom’s rally.”

“I heard.”

“You did?” I ask.

“Yeah. Shell called me in a snit about an hour ago.”

“That might explain Luke’s suggestion.”

“Don’t tell me. He wanted you to skip it?”

“Okay. I won’t tell you,” I reply.

Jameson sighs.

“Jameson?”

“You can’t skip it,” Jameson says.

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