Page 13 of Drop the Mitts

So Grace did. She ran through the situation with Country and Jenna, how she became friends with Troy’s son, Tyler, and found out they were having trouble fostering to adopt and how she only wanted to help. She told her about the petition, how she didn’t have any information, and that she was spiraling wondering whether it was her fault and what in the hell she was going to do if that sweet, perfect baby was stripped from Jenna’s arms.

By the time she finished, her mother was quiet.

Finally, she sighed. “I’m so sorry. That’s terrifying.”

“It is.”

“I can’t even imagine what would’ve happened if your birth mother tried to take you back.”

Grace pushed out of the chair and started pacing. It had been hard enough for her to track down her birth mother so she could get information on her genetics when she was in her early twenties. Her mother had passed away, overdose, five years prior.

“But . . . “

Grace stilled. “But what?”

Her mother proceeded with caution. “I also can’t imagine giving up a child. I’m forever grateful that your mother chose adoption, but . . . I guess I can’t blame any mother who second-guesses that decision.”

Grace started to sweat. “But she had time to make that decision, Mom.”

“How much time is ever enough time? We’re only human, Grace. We grow and change from one hour to the next. Most days, I second-guess the choices I made for breakfast.”

Grace plopped back down in her chair. This was exactly why she’d gotten out of family law. There was rarely a cut-and-dry answer, and finding a solution that satisfied everyone was like trying to catch a glimpse of the Northern Lights. Just when you thought you’d found the perfect night, clouds rolled in.

“It’s such a different world now. Adoption wasn’t the same back then. It was closed, and records were sealed. If a birth mother changed her mind, she had no recourse.”

Grace frowned, staring at the sparkling city skyline through the window. “And you think that was better?”

“Not necessarily,” her mother admitted. “The system back then was harsh. But I do remember feeling great relief when the whole process was final.”

Final.

That word sat heavy in Grace’s chest. Hadn’t she been the one to use that word with Jenna and Country? After the ten days had passed since the birth mother signed the paperwork?

Tears pricked her eyes. “What if it was my fault? Maybe I was careless. Maybe I?—”

“No,” her mother said sharply. “You were not careless.”

Grace inhaled through her nose. “You don’t know that.”

“I know you.” She paused. “None of us are above making mistakes, but it wasn’t carelessness. You know, when you were little, you were so observant. Always watching, always assessing.Do you remember when you saw Aunt Carol for the first time in years and you noticed immediately that she’d had a mole on her neck removed?”

Grace laughed. “I don’t remember that.”

“It was a little creepy, to be honest. You were only six.”

“Maybe the mole was creepy, Mom.”

“I grew up with her, and I didn’t notice! I think it’s why you’re so good at what you do. Your brain is like a supercomputer. But that also means you blame yourself when you can’t predict everything.”

Grace exhaled, squeezing her eyes shut as André’s comments from the night before flashed through her mind. Uptight. Boring. It was the same thing Troy had said at the end of their relationship, albeit in more flattering terms.You’re so smart, you operate on a different level. I just can’t keep up.

Was that how people saw her? Some robot with input in and input out? Unrelatable? With a stick up her ass?

There wasn’t anything wrong with preparation and predictability. She worked hard to keep her life running smoothly, and that kind of foresight had skyrocketed her in her industry. She was known for her prompt communication, her attention to detail. So how was that a ticking time bomb when it came to relationships?

“There are some things we simply can’t control, no matter how hard we try, Grace.”

Grace nodded, working to swallow the lump in her throat. “I know that.” She drew a deep breath and tried to exhale away from the speaker. “So what do I do?”

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