Page 138 of Before Dawn

Chapter Thirty-one

Mikkel

“I will never stop trying. Because when you find the one… you never give up.”

~ Crazy, Stupid, Love

Icouldn’t breathe without her.

Not really. Not fully.

The space between us had become suffocating, a weight pressing down on my chest, making every breath feel shallow.

I was just miserable.

I spent the entire night staring at the ceiling, chasing sleep that never came. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw her—the way she looked at me before everything shifted. Before the distance.

And I was drowning without her.

I tried to function. To go through the motions. But I felt like a ghost in my own life. I sat through meetings, nodding at the right times, signing contracts, pretending to care. But nothing registered. The numbers, theprojections, the deals—none of it meant anything when she wasn’t near.

I gripped my pen so tightly I thought it might snap. My investors assumed I was lost in thought, but my mind was stuck on her.

Was she okay?

Was she eating?

Was her anxiety high?

I caught myself checking my phone too often, hoping for a message, a sign—anything that meant she was still thinking about me. But my screen stayed blank.

Nights were the worst.

Some nights, I paced in front of her door, forcing myself not to knock. Other nights, I gave in to the ache and let myself stay close—curled up outside her door, just to feel near her. Even if she didn’t know. Even if she wouldn’t open it.

The floor was uncomfortable. The air was cold. But it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered if I couldn’t have her warmth.

And when the morning came, I’d slip away, leaving a quiet offering behind—a cup of coffee, fresh flowers in her favorite vase, breakfast on the table. Small things. Little pieces of me. The only way I knew how to say, I’m still here. I’ll always be here.

The worst part was knowing she wasn’t angry. She wasn’t punishing me. She just… needed space. And I had to give it to her.

But I didn’t know how to exist in that space.

She was my air. My center. My home.

And without her?

I was nothing more than a man desperately wanting her forgiveness.

A man barely breathing in a world without her.

Warning

The following chapter contains heavy mentions of mental health/physical health issues. Please refer to the content warning list to be reminded of any potential triggers. Your well-being is important to me, so please take care of yourself while reading.

Chapter Thirty-two

Abigail-Ann

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