Page 253 of Before Dawn

The silence that followed was suffocating as I thought about how happy I was for Azzaria. But, that happiness was often overshadowed by a sadness I couldn’t shake. I longed to be the one with kids, to share in their milestones and laughter. Instead, I was the one who couldn’t carry them to term.

All I could do was hope that someday, somehow, this pain would be worth it, but that hope felt so far away.

It had been four and a half months since we last tried—months of waiting, hoping, and battling the fear. But this morning felt different. I was off work, taking a much-needed mental health break, and Mikkel was home with me, rare moments away from his packed schedule.

“Are you okay, baby?” Mikkel asked, his hand wrapping around me.

I sighed. “I’m sleepy.”

“Get some rest,mi amor,214” he whispered, kissing my cheek.

I didn’t have the words, so I kissed him deeply, then gently fell onto my back, my breasts shifting with the impact.

“I’m going to call Emilia,” he informed me. “I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

I nodded again, my thoughts racing as nausea swept over me. My heart pounded as I quietly got up and headed to the bathroom. I grabbed a pregnancy test, hands trembling as I went through the familiar motions, trying to stay grounded despite the hope building inside me.

When the result appeared, I almost fainted.

Pregnant.

The word stared back at me, and I clutched the test to my chest, not even sure how to process the rush of emotions flooding through me.

I didn’t want to get my hopes up but I couldn’t help it.

What if we were going to actually have a baby?

“Mikkel!” I yelled, my voice shaky with disbelief. “Mikkel, come here!”

He was by my side in an instant, worry clear on his face as he saw me standing there, sobbing. I held out the test to him, my voice barely a whisper. “I’m pregnant.”

His eyes widened, and for a moment, he just stared at me. Then he lifted me into his arms, spinning us around. “We’re having a baby,” he said, his voice full of awe. “We’re going to be parents.”

I sighed, thinking of how this may be us getting happy for no reason.

“I don’t want u—”

He kissed the words out of my mouth. “I know what you’re going to say,” he started, cupping my face. “But, let’s not be negative. It’s okay to have hope,mi reina.”

Tears streamed down my cheeks. “Okay.”

We clung to each other, laughing and crying, overwhelmed with relief and happiness. But we needed confirmation, so we scheduled a doctor’s appointment for the next day, too anxious to wait longer.

We sat hand in hand in Dr. Sang’s office, the wait stretching endlessly. When we were finally called in, her calm voice and the gentle hum ofthe sonograph eased my nerves. Mikkel squeezed my hand, his eyes never leaving the screen.

Dr. Sang smiled. “Everything looks good,” she said, and I felt a weight lift off my shoulders. “You’re about twelve weeks pregnant.”

I blinked in confusion. “Twelve weeks? That’s three months, right?”

She nodded, adjusting the screen slightly so we could see. “Yes, that’s right. Sometimes early symptoms can be missed, but from what I see, you’re progressing normally.”

I stared at the screen, at the tiny flicker of life that had been growing inside me for three months without me even realizing it. Tears welled up, but this time, they were tears of joy. Mikkel leaned in, pressing his lips to my forehead as we took in the reality of it all.

Dr. Sang spoke again, her tone gentle but serious. “This is the furthest you’ve made it, so congratulations. However, there are some precautions we need to take to help ensure a full-term, successful delivery.”

“Anything,” I replied quickly.

Mikkel nodded. “Just let us know, Doc.”

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