Page 28 of Before Dawn

She sat poised in her usual chair, her green eyes kind yet probing. Her short blonde hair framed her elegant features, making her look as put together as always.

She gestured toward the sofa. “Abigail, it’s good to see you. Please, have a seat.”

I sank into the cushions, smoothing my hands over my lap. “I just wanted to update you on everything since I got here.”

Dr. Green nodded, her hands resting gently in her lap. “That’s something to be grateful for—being here and being alive. Tell me about your stay. How’s the city been treating you?”

I inhaled deeply. “It’s been good, really. I’m staying with Azzaria and Auntie Leann, and I haven’t done much except exams. Azzy and I went out the other night, but that’s about it. I took my last exam today—went better than I expected. I met with a realtor since I’m moving here, and got my nails done.”

A flicker of nostalgia crossed her face. “How’s Azzaria?”

“She’s okay. I’ll tell her you asked about her.”

Dr. Green smiled faintly, though there was something else there—a quiet longing, maybe, to see Azzy heal, too. “I’d appreciate that. But now, let’s focus on you. It sounds like you’re making big changes, taking control of your life. But I want to know—are you feeling any pressure through all of this?”

I hesitated, choosing my words carefully. “Not with moving, at least. I’m actually excited for that. But…” I exhaled slowly. “I’m ending things with Joshua this weekend when I go back.”

Dr. Green leaned in slightly, her expression gentle yet unwavering. “How are you feeling about that?”

I stared down at my hands, my fingers twisting together. “Relieved… and scared.”

She waited, letting me fill the silence on my own.

“For so long, I stayed because I thought that was what I deserved,” I admitted. “He was always good at making me believe that. But now… I don’t know. I’m afraid of being alone.”

The words hung between us.

“I know I don’t want to be with him anymore. But I also don’t want to be alone.”

It wasn’t just the loneliness itself—it was what it meant. Like I was slowly fading into the background, watching as everyone else had someone to pull them into focus. And I wanted that.

I wanted someone to see me.

Really see me.

Someone who looked at me like I was the only person in the room. The one whose thoughts they couldn’t wait to hear. The one whose mere existence lit up their world.

But I wasn’t sure I’d ever have that.

“I don’t love him anymore, and I can’t afford to lose any more time. Or worse—lose myself again.”

Dr. Green’s expression softened, her hands resting lightly on her notepad. “That’s something we’ve talked about before, Abigail—how you tend to put others before yourself, even when it hurts you. But this? This is growth. You’re finally prioritizing your well-being.”

I exhaled slowly, absorbing her words. I hadn’t thought about it that way before, but she was right. For the first time in a long time, I was putting myself first. It was overdue, but better late than never.

“Thank you, Doc.”

“You’re so welcome.” A small, encouraging smile touched her lips. “Is there anything else you’d like us to talk about today?”

I hesitated. The words formed in my throat but refused to come out. My fingers curled around the couch cushion, gripping the fabric like an anchor. No one knew. Not Azzy. Not anyone. And saying it out loud felt like giving it power.

But it already had power, didn’t it?

“There’s something I haven’t told you yet,” I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper. “It’s… embarrassing, but also terrifying.”

Dr. Green didn’t rush me. She never did. She just waited, her presence steady and grounding.

I swallowed hard. “Joshua has something on me. Something he’s been holding over my head for years.”