Page 102 of The Yoga Teacher

Carmen tilted her head. “You’re doing this out of guilt?”

He hesitated. “Notjustguilt.”

She waited.

Daniel finally looked at her. “Because it matters to her. Because I used to dismiss all of it. And I was wrong.”

Carmen nodded once, as if this wasn’t news to her.

“Most people only figure that out when it’s too late.”

“It is too late,” Daniel said quietly.

Carmen’s expression didn’t shift. She wasn’t cruel. But she wasn’t offering comfort either.

A long pause.

Then she said, casually, “You look a mess.”

Daniel huffed a breath that might’ve been a laugh. “Yeah. Well.”

“You always did have that too-clean, too-smug thing going,” she added, like she was making an observation about the weather. “This suits you more. Dirt under your nails. Less arrogant.”

He swallowed.

“You know?” he asked. “About… what happened?”

Carmen looked at him. “Yes.”

Daniel nodded slowly, eyes stinging. “I cheated on her.”

“I know.”

“With the yoga instructor,” he added, because he didn’t deserve her to think any better of him. “Our yoga instructor. Hannah’s.”

Carmen raised a brow. “That’s particularly gross.”

“Yeah,” Daniel whispered.

A silence fell. Heavy. Honest.

“I ruined everything,” he said. “For something that didn’t mean anything. Something I don’t even remember wanting.”

Carmen exhaled. “So why?”

He looked down at his hands. “I felt old and useless and… afraid I’d already peaked.”

Carmen made a small sound of contempt.

“You’re not the first man who’s been scared of aging,” she said. “But most of them don’t take their fear out on someone who loved them.”

Daniel winced again. “I know.”

She watched him. For a long time, she said nothing.

“I’m not trying to get her back,” he said quietly. “I know I don’t deserve that.”

“Good,” Carmen said. “You don’t.”

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