Page 35 of The Sweetest Risk

Or maybe he’s gone crazy and decided this is the night he is going to get rid of me for good. All’s fair at this point in our dysfunctional relationship.

We exit off the highway and I get my question answered when he takes a right turn instead of a left.

We are heading to his house.

“Tristan, why are we here?”

Again, no response. He unlocks his door and deactivates his alarm. He motions for me to come inside where I am greeted by his two big dogs again. He herds them to the back of his massive house and slides open the back door to let them out into the backyard. He removes his jacket and drapes it along the back of the back of his couch. Tristan grabs a remote and turns on the gas fireplace. He turns on the lights but clearly has a dim setting so it’s not very harsh. I place my clutch on the couch as well.

Tristan’s silence is making me nervous.

Maybe being playful will kill the silence. “Is this the part where you kill me? Because if you are, just put me out of my misery already. I can’t take another minute of waiting for you to explain what we are doing here and if you are, please give me the courtesy of saying goodbye to my family and friends. And I guess say goodbye to your career because then you’d be a murderer and my brother will probably hate your guts more than I ever did because you killed his only sister…”

“If you are going to break your one rule, I want you to break it with me, Brooke.”

I feel whiplash, trying to process his words. I can only blink at him and ask, “What did you just say?”

He doesn’t answer me right away. Instead he keeps pacing and goes back and forth between rubbing the back of his neck and rubbing his forehead.

Tristan’s words are on a conveyor loop in my head. All I can do is repeat his own words back to him, “You want me to break my rule with you?” I let out a nervous laugh. “Why…why would I do that?”

“Because…I want to be with you. And not just in a ‘benefits’ type of way. I’ve wanted this – I’ve wanted you – since the moment I walked into your parents’ kitchen ten years ago and you had flour all over your pretty face. Since the moment I put that disgusting cupcake in my mouth. The only reason I ate it all was because I didn’t want to be an asshole and make a bad first impression.”

I feel like my entire reality has been shattered. My legs are actually trembling. He must be fucking with me. “I am so confused right now, Tristan. I thought you hated me.”

“I never hated you Brooke. Not for one moment. I just pretended to hate you because for some unknown reason, you hated me from the start. And once Bradley told me that you have this one rule that you would never date a hockey player, I had to force myself to put you out of my mind. I slept with other women, dated other women. And I know how fucked-up this sounds but they were just a distraction for me. I would’ve saved myself for you, Brooke.”

I cannot form words right now. My thoughts are incoherent and my brain feels really foggy. Kind of like I am drunk, but I barely had anything to drink tonight.

“What was it that made you hate me so much?” Tristan continues, looking at me intently.

If he is confessing things, I guess it’s my turn to be honest with him. “I, um, heard you and Bradley talking in the hallway. Ten years ago. I was in the bathroom cleaning off my face so that I wouldn’t look like a complete troll to you. I thought you were the most beautiful guy I’d ever seen and I was so embarrassed that I was covered in flour and messed up my cupcakes. I was such a mess.”

“Brooke…”

“I heard you. You said that I wasn’t your type at all. That you liked girls with big boobs, girls who were blonde and skinnyand just not–me. I was so over competing with girls like that. And not to bash anyone who fits that description. I was just so hurt by that statement because, once again, I wasn’t enough for someone. I’ve never been enough for someone. It seemed like you were flirting with me in the kitchen and so I thought maybe, just maybe I had a chance with this super handsome guy who is ridiculously charismatic and funny.” Tears well up in my eyes at a memory that has haunted me for all these years. “I thought: How did I get so lucky? My heart leaped that night when I first saw you.” I wipe a tear from my cheek. “But that feeling was short-lived when you said that to my brother. I guess I was protecting myself and sort of passing judgment on you. Which in retrospect, wasn’t fair. But the truth is I made that rule because of you, Tristan. Your words hurt me and I made it about hockey because I couldn’t admit to anyone that I was hurt so badly.”

“Oh, Brooke. That’s why you hated me all of these years?” Tristan pinches the top of his nose and furrows his eyebrows. Then he closes the gap between us and grabs the sides of my face, wiping another tear away. “The only reason I said that to your brother was because I was fucking scared of admitting to him that I fucking fell for you the moment I saw you. That my brain chemistry was altered so much so that no woman has been able to live up to you. Even on the days when you were so mean to me, I wanted to throw you over my shoulder and take you home and make you mine.” Then he starts to laugh a little. “God you are so fucking stubborn…always have been.”

My pulse is rushing and I feel lightheaded. Tristan Lawson fell for me the moment he saw me? This is a lot of information to process. I am still so confused and a little pissed off that he waited so long to tell me. There are so many thoughts swirling around in my head. One thing I do know is that I don’t want to make a huge mistake. I decide to put my guard up. Old habits. “Tristan, I don’t know why you are callingmestubborn. Youare the most stubborn man I know.” This is too much. I can’t risk getting hurt by this man again. I grab my clutch and say, “I appreciate you being honest with me, Tristan. I just don’t know if I can do this.”

I turn toward his front door, but then I feel Tristan’s hand grab my arm and whip me completely around. I crash into his chest and he grabs onto my jaw and forces me to look up at him. “You aren’t going anywhere, Cupcake.”

“You’re not the boss of me, Hot Shot. And I’m not breaking my rule.” My voice gets a little shaky as I finally look into Tristan’s eyes and see how intense they are. “Especially with you.”

Tristan smirks, leans down, and whispers in my ear, “Are you sure about that?” Then I feel his lips press against my jaw. “Because based on the other night, I think you like what I do to you.” I can feel his fingers take out the pins in my hair and let them fall to the floor as he places another kiss on my collarbone. “And I want it all with you, Brooke.” He grabs my face with both hands again. He searches my eyes for my answer.

I can’t lie: I want it all with him, too.

Then he presses his forehead against mine. “Please put me out of my misery, Brooke, and tell me that you want it all with me, too. But if you don’t feel the same way, I’ll take you home and never bother you again.”

My heart leaps at what this gorgeous man is saying to me. Even with his tough exterior, I have never seen him so exposed and vulnerable. My throat feels dry, all my words dried up.

After a few moments of silence, I can feel him shake his head against me. He lets go of my face, almost as if he lost a fight that I wasn’t privy to for the past ten years. “I figured I’d shoot my shot with you. I guess I’ll take you home.”

He starts to back away from me and that’s when I drop my clutch on the floor, reach up and grab his strong jaw. His scrufftickles my hands and I force him to look down at me. “I don’t want to go home.” I reach on my tip toes and press my lips to his.

Tristan kisses me back with urgency. No hesitation. He presses against my lower back so that my entire body is flush with his. I can feel every ridge of his abs and one of his hands grabs my ass.

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