Page 114 of Summer Reading

“Want to listen?” Dad asked.

“Yeah.” I wondered if I’d be able to pick out Steve’s voice. I wondered if he sounded like Ben.

Dad handed me the headphones. I slipped them on and he pressed play. He set the cassette player down and I watched the little wheels turn in the see-through window. There was a drum riff and then someone said, “Dude, that was excellent.”

A guitar solo busted out and there was some more chatter. A debate about who might see them if they got booked at the Ritz Cafe, some trash talk about who was the best musician in the band, someone belched, and then there was an earnest discussion about becoming a national touring act.

They all sounded so young and full of dreams. Someone demanded they play what was going to be their hit single, “Lazy Susan.” Then the click of drumsticks could be heard as the drummer—my dad!—counted them in. I listened to the song and it wasn’t terrible. In fact, despite the distortion and garage band vibe, it was catchy as hell.

I reached out and shut the cassette player off. “You guys were great.”

My dad’s face got a little pink with embarrassment. “We were idiots but we sure had a lot of fun. There are a bunch more of these cassettes. Steve is on all of them, not just playing but in conversation, too.”

He reached into the box and took out several packets of old pictures. “I have these as well. Steve’s all over these and there are several with him and Moira. You can see how much they loved each other.”

“Dad, this is great,” I said. “I can get copies made.”

“Nah, I’ll do it,” he said. “I haven’t looked at this stuff in years. Ben can keep the originals. I hope it brings him some comfort.”

“Will you help him figure out which voice is his dad’s?”

“Of course, we can listen to the tapes together if he wants and I can fill in the gaps.”

“I think he’d appreciate that,” I said.

My dad reached across the table and put his hand on mine. “Is everything all right with you? You seem sad.”

“Just tired,” I said. “It’s been a pretty intense couple of days.”

“I’ll say,” he said.

“Have you and Stephanie recovered from your trip?” I asked.

“Mostly,” he said. “Although she has asked me to rein in my midlife crisis a bit.”

“Just the jeans,” I said. “Get rid of the jeans.”

“Really? But I thought I looked—”

“No.” I shook my head.

“Done,” he sighed.

•••

I didn’t hear from Ben for several days. Every morning, I awoke and checked my phone, but there were no messages. I wondered where he was and how he was doing. I thought about calling but I wanted to give him the space he needed. It was not easy when all of my instincts were telling me that I should be with him.

Em called at midmorning while I was sitting on the porch, watching cooking videos. I had to plan for my next happy hour, which thankfully gave me something else to think about.

“Hey, Em.”

“He’s here.”

I paused the streaming video on my tablet.

“Ben’s at the library? Right now?”

“Yes,” she said. “But Sam...”

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