Page 117 of Summer Reading

He nodded.

I turned to Tyler. We exchanged our complicated handshake and then I said, “Like Dorothy said to the Scarecrow, ‘I think I’ll miss you most of all.’ ”

Tyler’s eyes watered and he nodded. Then he cleared his throat and said, “I’m coming to Savannah on fall break, so find a cool place to live that has a foldout couch.”

“Deal,” I said. Then I hugged him. Despite my heartbreak over Ben, I had gained an awesome brother this summer and for that I was so very grateful.

People were streaming around us to get to the ferry. I had to go. As I looked at my people with the village of Oak Bluffs behind them, I felt my heart squeezetight. I loved them all so very much. It hurt quite a lot to leave them, but I couldn’t stay.

I swiped at the tears on my face and said, “I’d better go.” I forced a smile. “I’ll text you when I get to Mom’s.”

Dad hugged me one more time. The three of them stood waving as I walked up the gangway to board the boat. I showed my ticket and stepped onto the ship. My heart was heavy but I knew I’d made the best decision for me. Georgia would be a fresh start, and after this crazy summer I surely needed one.

I moved to the railing on the lower deck, where I could see my family. I waved and they all waved back. I took out my phone and snapped a quick picture of them. I wanted to remember them just like that.

The ferry let out a sharp blast to let us know we were heading out. For a few seconds, I actually debated getting off the ship so I could stay on island and wallow in memories of Ben. Stupid, I know. Since our dustup in his office, it had been radio silence from him, telling me more clearly than words that he was over whatever it was that we had.

No, he isn’t. He loves you as much as you love him.

I waited for the voice in my head to call me stupid, but it didn’t. For the first time I could ever remember, the voice actually sounded kind. I tried to ignore it.

And you deserve to be loved like that because you are worthy.

Okay, now my inner critic was going too far. Tears filled my eyes and I blinked them away. I knew the voice was just repeating the things Ben had said to me when we were together. I missed the sound of his voice so much. I took out the digital recorder he’d given me and put my earbuds in. I glanced at Oak Bluffs. I wanted to have his voice talk me out, as I left the place that was going to hold my heart for a very long time.

“Samantha!” a voice shouted. A man’s voice. Ben’s voice! I looked at the recorder. I hadn’t hit play yet.

I glanced around the deck and then at the upper one. I didn’t see him.

“Samwise!” he shouted again. I spun around to see him running up the gangway.

OMG! The engines were on, the water was churning, the cars had all been loaded. We were departing! Was he out of his mind?

“Ben, don’t!” I cried.

I dodged around the other people on the deck and ducked inside where the exit to the gangway was. An employee was standing there, clearly waving Ben off. Ben did not care.

He saw me and, with a determined look in his blue-gray eyes, he jumped!

Chapter Twenty-Nine

“Ah!” I shrieked. I clapped my hands over my mouth.

The ferry employee, a well-muscled middle-aged man, grabbed Ben’s arm when he would have slipped backward, and yanked him inside, slamming the door after him.

“Are you crazy?” he shouted at Ben. “What the hell, man?”

Ben wasn’t paying any attention to him. His gaze was fixed on me.

He was wheezing, but he said, “I love you.”

“Aw, shit,” the guy said. He glanced between us. “I see how it is.”

He wandered away to stand with some of the passengers, who were clearly enjoying the drama unfolding in front of them.

“I love you,” Ben said again. His gaze never left my face.

“Ben, I...” I cried. Was it too late? Had that ship sailed, as it were? I wanted to laugh and cry at the same time. I didn’t know what to say.

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