Page 118 of Summer Reading

“And you love me, too,” he said. “I know you do.”

I opened my mouth to speak but the words wouldn’t come. I was petrified. Ben was my one in a million. I knew that. And as such, his capacity to hurt me was unparalleled. How did I know he wouldn’t just flake on me again?

“I don’t think I can do this.” I gestured between us.

I felt the small crowd that was watching deflate. They were hoping for some over-the-top happily ever after, but it was my heart on the line and I wasn’t going to sacrifice it, not for anyone, including Ben.

“Listen, I know I fucked up,” he said. “I shut you out when I should have pulled you in, but I didn’t know. I didn’t know that a relationship could be like that.”

“Like what?” I asked. I stared at him. He was saying what I desperately wanted to hear, but I was too afraid to believe.

“Those two days where you didn’t let me out of your sight after I found out about my father... I’ve never experienced anything like that,” he said. He pressed his lips together. I could see he was struggling to keep from breaking down. His voice was raspy when he continued, “I’ve never had anyone jump in the foxhole with me before.”

My throat was tight. I knew his life hadn’t given him the sort of support that mine had, and I was glad to have shown him another way, but could I endure it if he pushed me away again? I didn’t think so.

“I’m sorry, Ben,” I said. “I can’t.”

“Can’t?” he asked. “Or won’t?”

“Does it matter?” I asked. “We had an amazing summer fling, but it’s over now. I’ve taken a job in Savannah. I’m leaving.”

I heard a sigh from behind me and glanced over my shoulder to see the cluster of people watching us. One woman was clutching her hands in front of her chest. She looked like she wanted to knock me down and take my place. I had to get out of there.

“I’m sorry,” I said to Ben. I turned and went back out to the deck where I’d been before he’d made his dramatic entrance. The wind whipped at my hair. I didn’t care.

“Samantha,” Ben said. He appeared at the railing by my side. He reached out and took an earbud out of my ear and put it in his own. He took the small recorder out of my hand and hit play.

The sound of him reading our book filled one ear. He smiled at me as if this proved something.

“I just wanted to know how the story ends,” I fibbed.

He took his earbud out and switched off the recorder. He pulled the other earbud out of my ear and said, “I can tell you how the story ends.”

“You’d better make it the abridged version,” I said. “The ferry will be docking in Woods Hole in forty-five minutes.”

Ben glanced out at the deep blue water. The sun shone on his dark hair, highlighting the copper strands. I felt the familiar thrum in my chest that happened every time I looked at him.

“All right,” he said. “The story ends like this.”

He leaned on the rail and I did, too. If he was going to tell me how our heroine finds her happily ever after, then I was all ears.

“Our heroine has fallen deeply in love, but she’s afraid of how vulnerable she feels,” he said.

I nodded. I knew there was a reason I liked her.

“Our hero has cocked it all up,” he said.

I raised my eyebrow in question.

“Not in a good way,” he said. “But after the hero realizes that he’s made a mess of things, he declares his feelings for our heroine in the middle of a vineyard in Tuscany.”

“He does?” I asked. This was the part I had just been getting to in the book.

“No, wait,” Ben said. “He didn’t do that.”

“He didn’t?” I asked. I had been so sure.

“No,” Ben said. He met my gaze and held it. “He declared his feelings for her after he jumped aboard the ferry from Martha’s Vineyard because he realized, when he heard that she was leaving the island, that he’d been a self-centered asshole and that he couldn’t bear the thought of his life without her in it every single day.”

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