Page 47 of Summer Reading

“You didn’t come around as much after you graduated high school,” he said. The words exploded out of him in a volley of hurt and confusion. He glanced away quickly, but he had just shown me a wound that I couldn’t ignore because I had done that to him. Was this why he’d been so chilly when I arrived this summer?

“Oh, Tyler, I’m sorry. That had nothing to do with you,” I said. “Dad and I had a very different idea about my continuing education, and I was so furious with him that I didn’t want to visit him. You and Stephanie were collateral damage.”

He turned back to face me. “You know I was four when you left for college.”

“I remember,” I said. “You used to carry around this really disgusting stuffed dog named Skip. If it were real, I would have thought it had mange.”

“You remember Skip.” Tyler grinned. “I still have him.”

“I hope his condition has cleared up,” I said.

He laughed, then grew serious. “I suppose it was because I was just a kid and didn’t understand, but I always thought you stopped coming around because you didn’t like me.”

I felt my heart squeeze hard in my chest. This wasthe same thing I’d thought when my parents separated—that somehow it was because of me, which was why I’d worked so hard to hide my academic struggles. I thought I could fix things if I just did better in school.

“You figured out that it wasn’t you, though, right?” I asked. I felt like the worst big sister in the whole wide world. The truth was I’d had so much going on as a teenager that Tyler hadn’t really been on my radar as much more than a member of Dad’s new family.

The look he gave me was one of chagrin. “Not really, no, but I think I’m figuring it out now. Things change when you’re a teenager.”

“Yeah, they do,” I agreed. “I am sorry. I wish I’d been a bigger-hearted person as a teenager. When my dyslexia was discovered, my entire life imploded. All of the covert coping mechanisms I’d developed and depended upon for years were exposed, making them useless. I felt like I woke up one day and I was blind. Still, that’s no excuse. I should have been more aware of you and your feelings.”

“You’re here now,” he said.

I smiled. “Don’t let me off the hook so easily. You should definitely leverage this.”

“See? That’s the sort of big-sister advice that’s been missing in my life,” he said. “So, since you mentioned it, I’ve been wanting to learn how to drive—”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, my dude,” I said. I held up myhands in a “stop” gesture. “I was thinking you could get me to make you a sandwich.”

“We can start there,” he said. He wagged his eyebrows and I laughed, but I feared there was a battle of wills up ahead, and I wasn’t sure I could win.

•••

I parked outside the doctor’s office in Edgartown. The lot was small, and the gray shingled building with white trim was standard Edgartown housing. I noticed Em’s car, an old Honda hatchback, was already in the lot. I jogged up to the front door. It slid open when I stepped on the mat, and I strode into the small waiting room as if I was on urgent business. I was. Em was my ride or die in the friendship department, and whatever was ailing her, we were going to figure it out, because I simply couldn’t imagine my life without her in it.

Em was sitting in the corner with a clipboard. She glanced up at the sound of the door and waved me over when she saw me. She looked scared.

I took the chair beside her. “Hi.”

“Hi,” she said. “Can you believe the amount of paperwork? And it’s always on paper. I thought we were in the digital age.”

“They probably just want to keep you busy so you don’t worry.”

“I’m not worried,” she said.

I lifted one eyebrow.

“I’m not. Okay, maybe I am a little.” She hung her head. Her auburn hair curtained her face. I put my arm around her shoulders and gave her a quick squeeze.

“Let’s save the worry until we have something to worry about,” I said.

“Okay.” She sniffed. “But what about my hair?”

“Huh?”

She lowered her voice. “What if it’s cancer and I have to have chemo and I lose my hair?”

I was not prepared for this discussion this early in the morning. “We could tattoo your head.”

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