Page 43 of I Can't Even

He sounded uncomfortable, as if my presence on the beach made him feel weird. He hadn’t seen me since he’d told me he’d moved on, but I’d seen him. I wondered if he suspected that I’d been watching him and was surfing here today specifically because I knew he’d be here.

Well, even if it was true I planned to disabuse him of that accurate notion right now. My stalking him was on a need-to-know basis and he did not need to know just yet.

“Let’s see... wetsuit, surfboard, hmm, I’d think it’s perfectly obvious that I’m golfing,” I said.

His mouth twitched but he didn’t give me an actual smile, and then he opted for stern.

“Blumer, you haven’t surfed in years,” he said.

“So what?” I asked. “It’s like riding a bike or sex.” He swallowed hard. Yes, I was trying to work sex into every conversation, because I’m helpful like that. “Learn to do it right the first time and you never forget how.”

His brown eyes crackled with intensity. “You can’t—”

“Watch me.” With that I dropped my towel and grabbed my board, pausing to reattach the tether.

“Jules, wait, you’re not ready.”

He was right behind me, but I ignored him and dove into the waves. The ocean was cold and even in a wetsuit, my breath hitched the first time I went under, feeling the water tug on my long curls, soaking them and flattening them to my head when I surfaced.

I climbed onto my board and paddled out to join the others. I forced myself not to turn to see if Liam was following me. When I reached the group, Ten was straddling his board while he looked in my direction and then just beyond me. I glanced over my shoulder. Yep, Liam paddled right behind me. Ten gave me a small smile, his gold tooth glinting in the sunlight. My smile deepened to a grin. I felt like I had an ally in my mission to win my ex-boyfriend back.

Ten caught the next wave and I watched spellbound as his dreadlocks danced in the air as he rode the board, perched on the front like a mermaid on the prow of a ship, until he chose to end the ride by diving into the surf.

“No one is as Zen as Ten,” Liam said from beside me.

I met his gaze. So many memories were formed right here with the two of us straddling our boards, waiting for our next wave. Back in the day we’d been so in sync, we’d been able to catch waves together and ride them in side by side. I wondered if we still had the surfer mind meld and if we did, would it bother Liam to ride side by side with me now?

“Listen, Jules, I think you should let me spot you for your first few runs,” Liam said. I opened my mouth to thank him, but he never let me speak. He held up his hand and spoke over me. “Yeah, I know you’re fine and you don’t need any help, but I think you should err on the side of safety, all right? It’s not just you out here you know, you really need to consider everyone else.”

“That would be fine,” I said. “Thanks.”

One of his eyebrows quirked up.

“You weren’t going to argue with me, were you?” Liam sounded rueful as he reached down and squeezed water through his fingers, making it shoot up into the air.

“No,” I admitted. “I know I’m out of practice.”

He nodded at me as if surprised that I was being so level-headed. We rode out the next set of waves, letting the others surf them in. And then off in the distance, I saw the swell build. It was an indicator of a new set of waves coming. I felt the eager anticipation that meant the surf was prime.

“This is it,” Liam said. He moved into position on his board.

“Ready.” I moved onto my belly and began paddling. We were just feet apart and the wave lifted us up together.

“Now!” Liam yelled.

We both paddled hard and then popped to our feet and as if no time or distance had separated us from the last time we’d surfed together, we rode in perfect sync. We were both goofy footed, meaning we rode our boards with our right foot forward, and we fell right back into our old pattern. Balancing on our boards side by side, becoming one with the sea, was magical.

I glanced at Liam and caught him grinning the same smile I’d seen a million times when we surfed. Full lips parted over white teeth in a grin that turned up in the corners and made the harsher lines of his face soften with affection and the pure joy of catching a wave. My heart lurched with how much I had missed that grin on this man. My board bobbled, and I flailed before plunging headfirst into the icy water.

When I broke the surface, Liam was there, having whipped his board around to check on me.

“Woo hoo!” he cried. He pushed my board toward me while straddling his own. “That was one hell of ride, surfer girl!”

A grin burst across my face as I climbed back on my board. Liam leaned over and pulled my board up alongside his. Just like the old days, he leaned close to me and I braced myself for his lips to meet mine in a salty cold kiss. I felt my heart surge right up into my throat. Was it going to be this simple to find ourselves again?

Yeah, no—instead he tugged a long piece of kelp out of my hair.

“Nice catch,” he said. “It blends in with your crazy hair.”

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