Page 44 of I Can't Even

My heart shriveled. He had always loved my hair. When Babs had railed at me to just cut it short instead of letting it run wild, he’d been the one to tell me that he loved it, that it suited me, that it was one of the things that made me beautiful. Now, he was comparing it to seaweed.

“Thanks,” I murmured.

A large wave was about to break over us and I took the opportunity to slide off my board and duck my whole body under the water to hide my hurt as if I could wash away my feelings with a cold splash of water. A small part of me wanted to stay under and just let the ocean push me back to the shore so I could crawl up the beach, defeated, grab my bag and disappear. But I wasn’t a quitter.

What had I expected? I had skipped town with his best friend and made Liam look like a jilted idiot. Did I really think a morning spent surfing would turn all of that around? Baby steps, I reminded myself. Newly resolved, I surged back up into the air.

He was waiting for me. That was something.

“Come on, Blumer, the waves await.”

I nodded and followed him out. I knew if I was going to win him back, I was going to have to play the long game. First, he had to get used to having me in his day-to-day life, as a neighbor and a friend, then I could bring out the heavy artillery and push him to see me as a woman. I knew my sisters were right and the best thing I could do was tell Liam the truth about Babs and Jessie, but I just couldn’t. Not yet.

I supposed it was stupid but I wanted him to care about me in spite of the past. Plus, there was the very real possibility that he would be furious about the decisions I’d made without telling him. I knew if the situation were reversed, I would be.

I’d been so hurt and angry and stupid when I left. I had thought I was being self-sacrificing and noble but looking back, I had taken the first opportunity to get away from Babs and to heck with anyone else. Liam and, yes, even my sisters, were abandoned in the process. At the time I didn’t care because I was so sure I was never coming back.

But now I was here, and I knew that the love I’d found in Gull’s Harbor all those years ago was something so unique and rare that I needed to see if I, we, could find it again. Was it worth humiliating myself for? Yep. A large swell was coming, and Liam glanced back to make sure I saw it. I nodded and together we dove through the wave, knowing as all surfers do that the best way out of something is through it.

The afternoon passed quickly, and I left the beach before Liam...I didn’t want to clue him in to the fact that I was pursuing him.

As I toweled off and shimmied out of my wetsuit, I was tempted to sneak a look at Liam, but I played it cool. I had an objective in mind, the two of us back together, which meant I couldn’t be too in his face until I started breaking him into the idea of “us” first. Then Em’s boots were coming out and anything else I could think of to throw his way, for that matter.

As I trudged back up the hill with my board under my arm, I allowed myself one last glance at the water. If my gaze tracked a certain bright green board, well, that couldn’t be helped. When I did spot him, I knew from the way my insides shivered that he was looking at me, too.

And so began my campaign to wear Liam down. In an ideal world, he’d see me enough to realize he wanted me back and would dump this girlfriend of his and we’d get back together. Easy peasy, right? Yeah, no, after all he was a man, and they can be a thick bunch. When confronted with what is best for them, like asking for directions when lost, they seemed to always get defiant and dig their heels in.

With this in mind, I made sure to tread that fine line between just being around living my life and shadowing his every move. Some ideas worked better than others.

Knowing that Liam swam every morning, I began to drag myself up out of bed at the crack of dawn not only to watch him swim laps in his pool but also to change into my clothes for the day in front of my window with the lights on. Yep, I was a peeping Tom’s wet dream.

This went on for three days. I never looked to see if Liam saw me from his pool. I tried to time it so that I changed when he was done with his swim, but I never verified that he saw me, wanting to pretend that this was sheer happenstance and not a ploy on my part to get him to notice me.

When a fist pounded on the front door just moments after I had finished changing into my yoga pants and halter top, my heart soared thinking maybe it was Liam and he just couldn’t resist me anymore. Yay, me.

I opened the door with a wide smile which promptly fell when I took in Mrs. Rodriguez in her flannel cat pajamas, looking peeved.

“I don’t know what your life in New York was like, Julia Blumer, but here in the suburbs, we do not flaunt our bodies in front of the window,” Mrs. Rodriguez chided. “We close our curtains or move away from the window. Honestly, what would your mother say?”

“Uh.” I was pre-coffee so this was the best I could do.

“My twelve-year-old son’s entire boy scout troop has been meeting in his tree house every morning to watch you get dressed.”

“What?” My jaw dropped and I crossed my arms over my chest.

Over Mrs. Rodriguez’s shoulder, I saw a pack of boys standing at the curb, looking mortified. I could only assume this was the perv troop. None of them met my eye, except for Danny Rodriguez. When he caught my eye, he puckered his lips and gave me a slow wink. OMG!

“Did you ever think the problem is the boys not respecting my privacy and not me changing in my own home?” I asked.

“No.”

I would have argued further, but I saw movement out of the corner of my eye and turned to see Liam was standing on his front porch, enjoying his morning coffee and watching the show. Oh, horror!

“It is not the boys’ fault you have no sense of common decency. They have been diligently trying for their bird watcher’s badge,” Mrs. Rodriguez said. “Until you distracted them.”

“Tweet tweet,” I said.

She stared at me, her nostrils flaring in fury. I stared right back.

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