Page 57 of I Can't Even

“Don’t panic,” I said. Ironic given the note of fear in my voice. “I’m on my way home. Meet me there. We’ll figure this out. We’ll find Em, I promise.”

I ended the call and glanced at Liam. He was frowning and I wasn’t sure how much he’d heard. I squeezed his forearm. “I’m so sorry,” I said. “There’s an emergency. I have to go.”

With that I bolted. Panic had me running far faster than introspection. The green park and blue ocean were watercolor blurs as tears filled my eyes and I sprinted to get back to the house.

Em! Where was she? Who had her phone? What had happened in the twenty hours since we’d seen each other? Oh, god, if anything had happened to her I don’t know what I’d do. Why hadn’t I forced her talk with me? I ran faster, cursing myself with every step.

How could I have just let her be when I knew she’d been struggling? I let her go to bed with her blue hair and shadowed eyes, allowing her to keep all her pain and sorrow to herself. So self-involved in my own ridiculous junk that I hadn’t reached out to her when she so obviously needed it.

Self-loathing choked me, and it was harder and harder to make it up the hill when the panic whispered in my ear that she’d likely been abducted and was even now lying in some cockroach-infested drug den with sweaty men doing horrible things to her. What if we never found her? What if she was murdered? It would be all my fault.

“Jules! Damn it, Jules, wait!”

It took a second for the sound of the motorcycle and a man yelling to cut through the paranoid monologue in my head. I glanced to the left and saw Liam on his motorcycle roaring up beside me.

“Em is missing! I have to go home!” I cried.

He jumped the curb and pulled up in front of me—I had to stop or run right into him.

“I got that,” Liam said. “Get on. I’ll get you there a hell of lot faster.”

“Oh. Thank you,” I panted.

I climbed onto the seat behind him, and he plopped the helmet onto my head. “Hang on.”

The bike roared to life, and we were off, skimming over the earth like we were flying. I wrapped my arms tight around his middle in a death grip. At any other time, I would have enjoyed the feel of my front pressed to his back, but right now all I could think about was my baby sister and where she was and how I was going to find her. Tears leaked and I let them, pressing my head into Liam’s strong back as we jetted home.

Sophie was standing in the front yard when we pulled up. I let go of Liam and yanked off the helmet, thrusting it at him as I swung my leg over the seat and jumped off before he’d even gotten to a full stop. I rushed Soph and when she saw me coming her arms opened and we hugged, clutching each other for support in our mutual terror.

“This is all my fault,” we said at the same time and then again, “No, it isn’t.”

“Have you tried her phone again?” I asked.

“There’s no answer,” Sophie said.

“I’ll try it.” I pulled my phone off my arm holster and tried to call Em. It rolled right to voice mail. Damn it!

Liam approached. He looked wary as if uncertain of his role here but still he asked, “How can I help?”

Soph stepped toward him. “You haven’t seen Em at all today, have you?”

“No, sorry,” he said.

“Em didn’t meet me for lunch and when I tried to track her down through friends, no one has heard from her and then when I called her cell phone a strange man answered.” Soph brought her knuckles to her lower lip. “And now all I’m getting is her voice mail.”

Soph started to cry. Liam gave her a quick, bracing hug, which I knew was one of his specialties.

“I’ll call Ryan, my buddy at the Gulf Harbor police department, and see what he says. Even if we can’t declare her missing officially yet, I know he’ll get the word out to the patrol units to keep an eye out. Then we need to go search for her,” Liam said. “I’m sure she’s fine. She’s lived in this town her entire life. Everyone knows her. People will look out for her if she’s gotten herself into a jam. I’m sure of it.”

“You’re right.” Soph exhaled with force as if she’d been holding it in for hours.

I didn’t know if Liam was trying to convince us or himself, but his words made me feel better nonetheless.

“I’ll call my staff at the coffee shop, too,” he said. “The more people looking, the better.”

“I’ll call Hannah and Harry,” I said. “They can get all of their friends to be on the lookout as well.”

“I’ll call Stan.” Soph reached for her phone. “Maybe he can help us search.”

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