Page 60 of I Can't Even

Soph squeezed my hand as she passed me to go to her own vehicle. I grabbed her fingers and stopped her. “Are you sure you don’t want me to go with you?”

She glanced past me toward Liam. “I’d love it if you were with me, but Liam’s going to need you to show him all of Em’s favorite places like the jogging trail up in the hills, the winery on the edge of town, and the old, abandoned church. She loves that creepy place. We can cover more ground if we split up.”

“All right,” I said. “But stay in contact and be careful.”

“I will,” Soph said. “You, too.”

Soph hugged me hard and then hurried to her SUV. With a wave, she zipped out of the drive and headed toward town. Watching her brush away a tear from her cheek, I felt impotent fury with my brother-in-law for making her do this by herself. What an asshole.

“Hey, you ready?” Liam asked.

I nodded and followed him to his bike. He held out his leather jacket and I pulled it on. It was getting dark, and the temperature was dropping. The sweat from my earlier run had already dried and I was feeling the chill on my skin. I zipped up the jacket and Liam’s scent, the sea and sunshine, filled my nose. The jacket was baggy, and the sleeves hung halfway down my fingers. I didn’t care. I was warm.

He plopped the helmet on my head, and I fastened it while he climbed onto the bike. I followed, wrapping my arms around him just as I had before. He put on his own helmet and glanced back once with a small smile and then we took off.

We jetted all the way to the outskirts of town, trying the most popular places as we went. Em wasn’t at the creepy church, thank god, and there were no cars parked nearby.

Liam drove to the popular hillside jogging path, positioning the bike in the small lot at the trail head which was illuminated by two tall streetlights. There were several cars but none belonged to Em. If she’d come here with a friend, I had no way of knowing whose vehicle they’d taken. We walked onto the trail. We didn’t go far but I couldn’t help but notice how quiet the area was after the noise of the motorcycle.

“How are you holding up?” he asked.

“Okay.” I was so far from okay I was sure we weren’t even on the same planet. In a panicked voice, I called out into the darkness, “Em!”

We both stood still, listening. There was no rustle in the darkness, no muffled cry for help, nothing.

“Em!” Liam yelled. Unlike me, he had no problem bellowing. If someone was out there hiking to enjoy the quiet, they were not going to be happy with him.

We stood still again, listening. There was no response. I started to tremble. I couldn’t help it. Maybe it was the stress of the past couple of weeks coupled with all the emotional stuff that came with it, but my eyes welled and my throat closed. If something had happened to Em, well, I just didn’t think I’d survive it.

Liam must have sensed my impending crash because he folded me into his arms, pressing my face against his shoulder while his arms locked around me, holding me close while I pretty much lost my shizzle in a torrential downpour of tears.

“Shh,” he said. He ran his hand up and down my back. “We’re going to find her.”

I nodded. We had to press on. I needed to get it together so that we could. Time was a critical factor here and there was no time for a breakdown.

“Sorry.” I stepped back from him and wiped my face with my hands. “It’s just, yeah, there’s been a lot going on.”

“I’m sorry,” he said. “The other night, what I said, what I did, I was such a son of a bitch. You’re already dealing with so much; I never should have—”

“No, it’s fine,” I interrupted. “Totally fine. We really should get going.”

I began to walk away. While I was grateful for his apology, I didn’t want to hear him say that he shouldn’t have slept with me. Maybe he was in love with someone else and maybe he was moving on, but that night with him had meant so much to me, you know, before he crushed my poor heart, that I couldn’t bear to let him dismiss it as just a fallout from our past.

Liam grabbed my hand before I made it more than a yard. He tugged me around to face him. Oh, man, he was going to tell me how the other night had been a mistake and my heart was going to shatter right here at his feet.

Instead, he kissed me. He cupped the back of my head and kissed me until I was clinging to him, and he had one hand fisted in my hair and one hand at my lower back, locking me up against him.

“Where were you today?” His voice was a low rasp that made me shiver.

“I thought you might appreciate some space from me,” I said.

He moved his lips to that trigger spot right under my ear and I promptly forgot my name, my purpose, where I was, or what I was supposed to be doing.

“I can’t eat, I can’t sleep, I can’t think about anything but you,” Liam said. He returned his mouth to mine and kissed me deeply. “I missed you all damn day, surfer girl.”

My heart melted into a puddle. He had missed me. I hugged him hard.

“I missed you, too, new boy,” I said.

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