Page 66 of I Can't Even

“About the other ni—”

“Shh.” I straddled him and grabbed his hands, pushing them back against the bedspread by his head. Then, I kissed him. It was a long, slow, exploratory sort of kiss, where my mouth molded to his while my tongue played peekaboo, darting back and forth, getting the taste and the feel of him. It was the sort of kiss shared by new lovers who are learning everything they can about their partner through taste and touch.

Although I remembered most of our misspent youth, it was nice to get a refresher course. I cataloged what made him groan, what made him half rise up and try to take over, and what made him buck his hips beneath me. This enthusiastic response happened when I plunged my tongue into his mouth in the most blatantly sexual way I could manage. I had to try it three or four times to be sure. Yeah, it never failed.

This was an exquisite way to learn things about this man. I could feel my own desire spike with each new revelation of what made this guy hot. Liam and I were hardly new to one another, yet I felt like this was a new time for us. We were different than the teenagers we’d once been. Different than the estranged lovers who had come together in a frenzy just recently. Life had hardened us, given us new and different experiences, but still, the one true thing was the combustible chemistry that never seemed to fade between us.

One more plunge with my tongue, and Liam broke my hold and rolled me over onto my back. Then he took over the kiss until I was arching up against him, trying to nudge him into action.

He didn’t take the hint, but instead ran his hands down my sides pausing at my breasts to let his fingers tease and taunt my nipples into stiffened peaks that yearned for his mouth. When he finally sucked one in between his lips and gently bit down, I was pretty sure I was done for and any semblance of dignity was gone, baby, gone. I proceeded to beg.

“Liam, please,” I moaned.

“Please what?” he asked. He licked me like an ice cream cone until I was just as wet and melty. He pulled back a bit. A furrow appeared in his brow. “Maybe we should talk, clear the air before we keep going.”

Yeah, that would be the smart thing to do; mature, logical, responsible, yada, yada, yada. The problem was when it came to this man I was as dumb as a bag of hammers.

“Can’t talk. Need you,” I said.

“Need me for what?” He tried to sound innocent, the big faker. I knew exactly what he was trying to do, get me to talk dirty to him. Well, all righty then.

I ran my fingers into his thick dark hair and forced his warm brown gaze to meet mine. In a lust filled voice I barely recognized as mine, I said, “I need you to fuck me. Hard. Like you mean it.”

The man went perfectly still for the space of a heartbeat and then he was delightfully, deliciously, deliriously crazed. Well, okay then. His mouth moved over my skin as if he fully intended to kiss every bare inch of it. Oh, my!

I ran my hands over his shoulders, his chest, his abs. I felt him clench wherever my fingers touched, and his response kicked my own desire up a notch. I arched and kissed him while his fingers blazed a trail down between my legs, finding my sweet spot and moving in relentless gentle circles until I started to push against him, longing for more. He ignored me.

His fingers kept moving in the tenderly insistent caress that didn’t stop but didn’t go further and it was slowly driving me mad. When I glanced up at him from beneath my lashes, his lips were turned up in a look that could only be described as wicked. The boy knew exactly what he was doing to me, and was utterly unrepentant. So, he wanted to play. Fine.

I circled his erection with my fist and gave a gentle tug. He let out a huff of breath and I laughed. Then I moved my other hand so that it cupped the boys below. This time he growled. I worked him over firmly but gently using both hands until I saw a sheen of sweat bead up on his skin. If this was a game, I was playing to win, and I was, right up until he put his lips back on my breast. He gently bit down and the rhythm I’d maintained stuttered as I arched my back and gasped. This time, he laughed.

He pushed my hands away and settled himself between my legs. Now I was trapped with him right there, so close to where I wanted him to be, and yet, he didn’t commit, he didn’t slide into me, and I was left with an aching, throbbing need that was making me thrash in a decidedly unfeminine way against him.

“Liam,” I panted his name.

“Yes, Jules,” he said.

He sounded so calm and reasonable I wanted to hit him. His devious grin was firmly in place as he lowered his mouth to my other breast, taking the tip between his lips and sucking hard until I felt the corresponding zap of desire between my legs.

“Why are you torturing me?” My voice came out needy and whiny. I could tell how far gone I was that I didn’t even care.

“Because we need to get some things straight,” he said.

My heart plummeted. Oh, man, we were going to talk now? I didn’t want to, talking only made things tricky and weird and there were too many secrets and so much pain. My desire began to flat line at the imagined fall out.

He must have sensed my lust dissipating because he let his full weight come down on me with his thighs in between mine and his firm boy parts pressing insistently into my soft girl parts. I was pretty sure I saw stars as my desire ratcheted right back up to the level of why aren’t we doing it right now?

He wagged his eyebrows at me, and I clamped my lips together to keep from begging for more. We were at an impasse, but then he kissed me. He dug his hands into my hair to angle my head so he could plant a lip lock on me that stole my breath, hell, I was pretty sure it stole my soul. When he pulled back, his gaze met mine and the intensity made me shiver.

“I need to be clear that if we do this right now then we’re a thing,” he said.

My eyes went wide. “A thing? Please define “thing.” Do you mean as in a romantic couple or a freak show at a circus?”

His stare intensified even as his mouth twitched. “As in a couple, a pair, a twosome, although if you want to get freaky...”

My heart started to hammer in my chest, as if trying to get my attention to let me know how it was voting. It was an ay. Shocker, I know.

“But what about—”

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