Page 68 of I Can't Even

“What?” I asked.

Somehow, I managed to sound like a complete innocent, even as I was guiding his hand over my hip and putting it right on that spot that loved his callused fingertips rubbing against it. My head fell back against his shoulder, and he took complete advantage of it, letting his lips trail across my skin until every pleasure point in me, seriously, exploded.

“Oh, god,” he grunted. “I can feel you coming.”

My vagina was clenching so hard around his cock it felt as if it was trying to choke it out. There was a tense moment where the pleasure was so close to pain that I gasped. It was terrifying how good we felt coming together and a part of me almost shoved away from him, as if I was giving away too much by being together like this. I chose to be brave and ride it out, and just like catching a perfect wave, it was worth every bit of fear to find the bliss.

I reached back and clung to him as he began to move inside me, drawing out my orgasm and following it with his own. Once the tremors subsided and our breathing slowed, he pulled me in tight. His body was pressed against mine and I was sure I had never felt this close to anyone in my life.

We were never going to be more in sync than we were right now, so I figured this was as good a time as any to get to the heart of it.

“What happened between you and Courtney?” I asked.

He stilled. I rolled in his arms so I could look up at him. He rubbed a hand over his face and I could see each whisker of stubble that I’d felt gently abrading my skin. I reached my hand up to run over his chin. I liked the way it tickled my palm. Our eyes met and he leaned down, kissing me quick.

“You found out her name, huh?”

I shrugged. Couldn’t deny that.

“I broke up with her.”

“When?” It shouldn’t have mattered but, yeah, it totally did. I needed to know if the breakup happened because of our previous night together, my not-so-subtle stalking, or because of something completely unrelated to me. Call it ego, but I really hoped the last one wasn’t the case.

He blew out a breath and eyed the space between our bodies. I pressed closer, getting his attention most definitely downstairs. He glanced up at me and his expression was rueful.

“If I tell you, do you promise not to be mad?” he asked.

I narrowed my eyes...I could think of only one reason why I would be mad.

“You haven’t broken up with her yet, have you?” I braced both hands against his chest to shove him off me.

The blanket dropped down around his waist, and I was confronted by half naked Liam with his muscly arms and sculpted torso on full display. For a second, I forgot why I was supposed to be irritated. A second was all he needed to grab me and flatten me beneath him with my hands trapped in his.

“Yes, I have,” he said. “I wouldn’t have slept with you otherwise.”

“But we slept together the other night—” My voice trailed off and he looked at me, one eyebrow raised, as if he was waiting for me to do the math. “You had already broken up with her by then? Seriously? When?”

“The night I found you under the lemon tree and held you in my arms while you cried about your mom,” he admitted. “While I was holding you, I felt as if you were giving me back a piece of myself that had been missing for a very long time. I didn’t know what would happen between us, but I knew I was never going to feel about anyone the way I felt about you, and it wasn’t fair to her, so I ended it that day.”

I stared at him for a moment going over the timeline in my head. That meant that when he was so mean after our first night together, which would also be when he said he was getting married, he had lied to me.

“You lied to me,” I said. “And you were really, really mean.”

I thrashed beneath him. No idea why. It wasn’t as if I really wanted to get away or push him off, but it felt like I was supposed to take some sort of moral stand on this lying thing. Yeah, me, the one with secrets up the wazoo was being all high and mighty. He relaxed his weight on top of me, making it even harder to buck up against him.

“Aw, come on, surfer girl,” he cajoled, which was nearly impossible to resist. “Don’t be mad. Honestly, what happened that first night scared the hell out of me and I panicked. I know it was a dick move to treat you the way I did, and I have no excuse. I guess I was just trying not to fall too hard too fast, and potentially I was getting even with you for leaving me for Jessie nine years ago.” He sighed. “I am really sorry.”

And just like that the fight went out of me. This was the thing about Liam. Not counting the fibs we’d told our parents so we could be together when we were young, Liam was the most honest and self-aware man I’d ever known. Back in the day, I’d had no idea how incredibly rare that was. Now I knew. Just like I knew I had hurt him so badly when I left that I couldn’t blame him for exacting some payback.

I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him close. I had so much to make amends for,

but given that the truth wasn’t just mine to tell, I didn’t know how to start or where to begin.

“There’s so much I need to explain to you,” I said. “I want to tell you some stuff to make things right between us, but—”

“No,” he interrupted.

Something flickered in his eyes, a flash of pain or jealousy. It was gone before I could get a bead on it, but it put me on notice that he might not be ready to have that conversation just yet.

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