Page 8 of I Can't Even

“Besides,” he continued, “given that you’ve been avoiding me like I’m a carrier for the plague, drastic measures were required. And after that kiss, I’ve got to say a concussion or near drowning would have been totally worth it. I like you, Julia Blumer. I have from the moment I first saw you.”

Probably, I should have dropped dead on the spot, like I was pretty sure I was going to, and our story would have had a happier—okay, not so much for me—ending. But I didn’t and we didn’t. Pity.

I continued staring at the darkened window across the way, tasting the bitter flavor of regret on my tongue. There was no point in dwelling on the past I told myself. It was dusted and done, and I couldn’t go back. Sadly, one of the first lessons learned when leaving childhood behind was that in real life there are no do-overs.

Suddenly, a light snapped on in the bedroom across the way. Curious, I watched and, as if he’d been ripped right out of my daydreams and thrust back into my reality, Liam Mahony strode into the room, shirtless. Oh. My. God.

Chapter Three

My heart stopped, literally stopped, and then as if remembering its purpose, it pumped doubly hard for three beats almost sending me into a dead faint. Okay, no, that was more likely due to the man I was staring at like a prime rib at an all you can eat buffet.

His thick dark hair was still unruly, like he’d just climbed out of bed but not a bed in which he’d been sleeping. His bare chest was even more muscled than I remembered with broad shoulders, roped forearms, and a sculpted V. Sweet baby Jesus, the man had an abdominal V, you know those muscles that frame the six pack abs and lead down to a guy’s equator, yeah that V, that made me want to lick it and then bite him...it...no, him...everywhere.

I put my hand to my forehead and closed my eyes. Clearly I was having some sort of fit or hallucination, because while I hadn’t seen Liam in years, I had gotten sporadic updates from Babs, usually when she was feeling particularly cruel, and the last I’d heard he was living in the apartment above his coffee shop in the center of town. Obviously, my little jog down memory lane as I sat here in the dark had caused me to conjure something that was not there. Right? Right.

I opened my eyes fully expecting to see a dark window across the way. Nope. Instead, Liam had his back to me and was working on some sort of freestanding apparatus doing pull-ups, which for the record, completely defined his back. I felt a trickle of saliva slide out of the side of my mouth and realized I was drooling.

I wiped my chin, never taking my eyes off the man as he hauled himself up and down and up and down and up and, well you get the drift. Lost in my appreciation for his scorching hot body, I didn’t realize he was done until he dropped from the bar and grabbed a nearby towel to wipe the sweat off of his face. At which point, I moaned, out loud.

“Hey, Jules, are you going to...” Sophie burst through the bedroom door and then stopped as she took in the view. “Oh my...”

She perched behind me with her arms on the back of my chair and we watched Liam move to the free weights. When he started curling the barbell in toward his torso, I noticed he had several lines of ink on his left side, a tattoo. I wished I could read it, but I was too far away. I found myself wondering when he got it, what it said, and why he’d put it right there. Then he braced himself with one arm while flexing the barbell in toward his chest with the other. Soph and I both sighed deeply and appreciatively.

“Guys, what are you doing here in the dark?” Em strode into the room snapping on the light.

“No!” I yelped as my pupils contracted. Thankfully, I had the presence of mind to drop to the floor before Liam, who would now be able to see into my room with the light on, got sight of me.

“Ah!” Sophie dove away from the window, shouting to Em, “The light! Hit the light!”

“What? Why?” Em glanced out the window and then yelped. “Oh! Oh, shit!”

Em slapped the switch, and the room was plunged into darkness. She dropped to her knees and crawled over to where Sophie and I were crouched on the floor in front of the desk.

“It’s okay, I don’t think he saw me,” Em said.

“‘Lucy, you have some ‘splainin’ to do’,” I said in my best Ricky Ricardo accent.

“Yeah, um, I meant to tell you about that, er, him,” Em said. I could just make out her face in the shadows and she cringed. “But I forgot. He’s such a quiet neighbor, I forget he’s there. Of course, my room doesn’t look into his so not having a front row seat to the show, well, that could be why I forgot. I mean, wow, just wow.”

“No problem,” I lied. “He’s back, Liam’s back, living at home. These things happen. Maybe it’s a failure to launch sort of thing, like his coffee shop tanked, and he had to move back in with the Prof. and Mrs. Mahony?”

Liam’s dad was a professor of marine biology at Scripps Institution of Oceanography in La Jolla, so he was never Mr. Mahony to us growing up but always the Prof. Even though he had retired a few years ago, his title never changed.

“Not even,” Sophie said. “Quite the opposite, actually. His coffee shop is so successful, he’s opened two more, one in San Diego and one in Los Angeles.”

“He actually bought the house from his parents so that they could move into a retirement community up the coast. His mom was super excited because they have bingo every week. She bought a swank set of daubers with their own carrying case. Doesn’t that sound fun?” Em asked.

Sophie squinted at her. “You have got to get out more.”

“Focus, people.” I clapped my hands twice to get their attention. “So, he’s been living next door for how long exactly?”

“About two months, give or take a week,” Em said.

“Does Babs know?” I asked.

They both looked uncomfortable.

“She does, doesn’t she?” I persisted.

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