Page 91 of I Can't Even

Jessie barked out a humorless laugh. “Dude, I was nineteen. I could barely admit my feelings to myself, and you know what my father’s like. I was terrified I’d be disowned, which I have been, by the way.

“I had to leave. It just happened that Jules and her mother had a big blowout over your proposal, and she was running away, too. I didn’t know where to go and she was headed to New York, so I told her I’d drive her there and then I stayed. I never wanted to lie to you, but the truth hurt too much. I honestly felt like I would die.”

I heard a sob as Dante pressed his knuckles to his mouth and swiveled on his heel, facing away from us. My eyes were damp, and my chest hurt as if my heart was being squeezed by a giant fist. I couldn’t look away from the two people who meant so much to me.

They stood staring at each other and then Jessie drew a ragged breath and said, “I am so so sorry, Liam. I never wanted to hurt you. I never wanted to lose you. I just didn’t know what else to do.”

Liam nodded. It was a jerky sort of nod as if he was still trying to process all that he had learned but he was getting there. In one swift motion, he grabbed Jessie by the hand and pulled her into a bear hug. It was the same sort of hug I’d seen him give Em a million times.

“I get it,” Liam said. His voice was gravel rough. “I wish I could have been there for you, but it’s okay. We’re good.”

Now Dante was openly weeping, and tears coursed down my cheeks as well. Jessie glanced at me over Liam’s shoulder. She gave me a watery smile and reached for me, pulling me into the hug. I half expected Liam to push me out of it, but he didn’t. Instead, they both hugged me into the circle.

“So, am I forgiven?” Jessie asked. “You know, like that time I dropped your new motorcycle and scratched the chrome?”

Liam chuckled and the sound was hoarse. “Or that time I took a sucker punch from that bully Kyle Markus because he swung at you and you ducked, forgetting to tell me to do the same when I was standing right behind you?”

Jessie let out a strangled laugh. “Yeah, like that.”

Liam stepped back and looked at Jessie with a slow smile lifting the corner of his lips. “Of course, I forgive you. You’re my best friend.”

Heart explosion! That would explain the swelling feeling in my chest as I was so happy and relieved that these two were burying the hatchet and not in each other.

“Listen, Liam,” Jessie said, abruptly serious. She stepped out of the hug and put her hands on her hips. “If you’re forgiving me, you have to forgive Jules, too. I made her swear not to tell anyone, especially you, about me. I put her in a really tough spot.”

Liam turned to look at me with a grim expression. I didn’t suppose there was forgiveness in his heart for me. Too much had happened. Too much hurt had accumulated.

“We do have some unfinished business.” Liam pointed between the two of us and I nodded. He glanced at Jessie and Dante. “Make yourselves at home. We’ll be back in a bit.”

He took me by the elbow and led me into the master bedroom on the far side of the house. I saw Jessie take a step forward as if to follow, but Dante hooked her elbow and held her back.

Liam let go of me as soon as we stepped into the room. He also shut the door and put his back to it, crossing his arms over his chest as he glared at me.

“Why were you running away that day?” he asked. “I understand why Jessie did what she did but why you? Why did you leave me? Was it because of what I asked you that night?”

So, here it was. The moment of truth. It took everything I had not to look away to avoid the ragged edge of hurt I could see in his eyes. Instead, I squared my shoulders and said, “No, when you asked me to marry you and I said yes, I meant that with all my heart. I left Gull’s Harbor for you. I did it to save you.”

“From what? From loving you?” Liam uncrossed his arms and ran a hand through his hair. “Because I can tell you right now that didn’t work.”

A sob burbled up and I pressed my fingers to my lips. Tears coursed down my cheeks and my throat was clenched so tight with emotion that I could barely get the words out.

“Oh, Liam,” I said.

“Just tell me why, why did you leave me?” Liam’s voice was raw.

I fidgeted with the zipper on my hoodie. Zip Zip. Until he stared at my hand, and I stopped.

“Babs heard you ask me to marry you, and she heard me say yes,” I said. “That’s why she freaked out on us. Not so much about the sex, although that didn’t help, but definitely the proposal pushed her right over the edge.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know,” I said. “But I think it has to do with the fact that she,” I paused to swallow before pushing out the words I was still coming to grips with. “She isn’t really my mom.”

“What?”

“Yeah, at the reading of the will, I was given a letter from my dad. In short, he fell in love with a woman named Lisa Michaels and she got pregnant with me. When Soph was sick with meningitis, Dad prayed for her to live and offered to give up Lisa in return for sparing his daughter. When Soph got better, Dad told Babs everything about Lisa and me. Babs paid my birth mother to give me up and go away and she did.”

“Whoa,” he said. “You’ve been dealing with that on top of everything else?”

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