Page 94 of I Can't Even

“And the only thing they took was an urn?” I asked.

“Weird.” Soph slumped against the wall.

Jessie and Dante came in with their own mugs of coffee and Jessie handed hers to Soph. She looked as grateful as I’d felt. After Sophie took a sip, she seemed calmer.

“All right, we need to think about who might have taken Mom,” Sophie said.

“Paisley, obvi,” I said.

“Wait a minute.” Liam stared out the window and then glanced down at me. “I know her.”

“Oh, no, please tell me you didn’t sleep with her,” I said.

“No...urgh.” Liam made a gagging sound. “But she’s come into the coffee shop in LA with Courtney.” His expression turned suspicious. “She’s friends with Courtney.”

I narrowed my eyes. “The same Courtney who was here last night?”

“Yup.” Liam crossed his arms as he studied my cousin. “She might have helped Paisley.”

“Wait. I’m confused,” Soph said. “Who is Courtney?”

“Yeah.” Jessie tossed her hair and echoed Soph. “Who is Courtney?”

“Liam’s ex-girlfriend,” I said. “And quite possibly the person who took the urn given that she is friends with our cousin.”

“Liam, then you know where she’s stashed the urn. Let’s go get her,” Soph said.

“It might be complicated,” Liam said. He turned away from the window. “Okay, your cousin went inside but I’d stay down just to be on the safe side.”

“Wait, is Courtney the one from the art festival with the fake bazooms?” Soph put her hand in front of her chest as if to demonstrate the enormity of Courtney’s rack.

“Yes,” I said.

“Oh, yeah, she was furious,” Soph said. “This could get ugly.”

Jessie gave Liam a look. “I didn’t think you were a boob guy.”

“I’m not,” Liam said. “I much prefer a smaller package.”

I tipped my head and frowned at him. His face went pink. “There’s no saving me is there?”

“Nope,” I said.

Liam hung his head and I laughed. Soph gave me a look and I said, “What? He’s cute.”

She rolled her eyes but there was a small smile on her lips, and I knew my older sis was happy for whatever was happening between Liam and me.

“People.” Dante clapped his hands. “Jessie and I are booked on a flight out of here this evening, so if you want our help, and I’m thinking you do, then we need to make a plan.”

Just then Liam’s front door burst open, and Em stood there. She was still in her bathrobe and stared at all of us with a crazed look in her eye.

“OMG, my FOMO was literally spot on,” Em declared. “Why didn’t you come get me?”

“FOMO?” Soph asked. “It’s like she’s a foreign exchange student and I only get about half of what she’s saying.”

“It means fear of missing out,” Jessie said. She rose from her seat, crossed the room, and pulled Em into a hug. “Em, sweetie, come in, sit on the floor with your sisters. We’re making a plan.”

“Oh, yay, I’m right on time then.” Em wedged herself between me and Soph and in her best Joey from Friends voice, said, “So, how you doin’?”

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