Page 11 of Fearless

“I promised,” I choke out, vision suddenly blurry with unshed tears. “I promised to avenge Adena.” Another shove, this one weaker. “So let me inside this damn room, Lenny.”

Sympathy smothers his face, crowding around his features like thefreckles splattering his skin. “I have strict orders from the king not to let you see her,” he whispers. “I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”

I grow suddenly numb, every thought muffled and feeling detached. My fingers uncurl from his uniform, slide from his chest. “Blair tore a branch through Adena’s chest during that final Trial.” My voice is distant, as though the words are falling from someone else’s lips. “And I’m going to kill her for it.”

Lenny reaches for me, hesitant. His hands cup my shoulders, steadying. “I get it. Trust me, I do.” He sighs through his nose. “But you can’t kill her on my watch. And Kitt knows you won’t kill me to get to her. At least,” he adds skeptically, “I would hope not.”

A sound slips past my lips, something like a scoff. Of course Kitt knew I would come after Blair for what she did to Adena. What she did tome. It’s genius, really, stationing Lenny as her guard. He knows how much I care for him—and he’s used that against me. “You can’t be her shield forever.”

“And when I’m not,” he says slowly, “you can do with her as you please. Though I don’t recommend doing anything rash.”

“Rash?” I scoff, eyes ablaze. “The thought of killing her is all that’s kept me going. I’ve given my decision plenty of thought, I assure you.”

“Paedyn…” He shakes his head, red hair rippling with the movement. “That was before all of this. Before you were betrothed to the king.”

I wince at his words, feeling the sudden weight of that ring on my finger. He runs a hand down his face before leaning in to murmur, “You can’t just… go around killing people anymore.”

“Anymore?” This time, he’s the one wincing at the quiet hurt in my voice. “I never wanted to kill anyone. I’ve only ever defended myself. But her…” I jab a finger toward the door beside us. “She is to blame for what I’ve become.”

“I know,” he says softly, wrapping an arm around me. “I know, Princess. I’m sorry.”

I step into his embrace, clutching him tightly. My face is buried against his uniform, nose stinging from the starchy scent. “I’m scared, Lenny,” I admit, my voice muffled.

“You’re allowed to be. You know that, right?” He ducks his head, resting his chin atop my hair. “No one was expecting this. But I’m here to help you in any way I can.”

I lift my face, suddenly concerned. “Why are you back? What about your mother? The Mixes? Finn and Leena?”

“They are all fine,” Lenny reassures me. “Ma needed some help anyway, so Finn and Leena are staying with her. Besides, it’s safer there for them.” Unraveling his long arms from our embrace, he gives me that sly look of his. “I came back for you, Princess. And being slammed against the wall was certainly not how I figured I’d be thanked for it. But I suppose violence is one of your love languages.”

I smile sheepishly, warmed by his effort to find me. “I didn’t think you would come back to Ilya.”

“When you and the Enforcer were captured from the Mixes base, we didn’t even know where to start looking for you.” He begins pacing then. “So my mother, Leena, and Finn—shockingly enough—convinced me that I was more help to you here at the castle than I was aimlessly wandering Dor.” His eyes sweep over the hallway and each Imperial that marches through it. Voice low, he adds, “We knew you would end up here at some point, and I’m not marked as one of the Resistance members, remember? I never even made it into the Bowl because I was down in those tunnels guiding people through.

“And with Calum in the king’s good graces, he ensured that no one would bat an eye when I fell back into rank as an Imperial.” He grins,and I don’t miss the triumphant gleam in his eyes. “So, I’m here to help in any way I can. You, Ilya, and Calum.”

I nod. Smile. Try to grip the shambles of myself tight enough to sound okay. “I’m glad you’re here. I may need you to force me down the aisle.”

His grin fades. “I know this is hard. But we are so close, P. So close to finally getting the freedom that the Resistance has fought so fiercely for, even if it is in a roundabout way. And I know that a marriage is not what you wanted. Hell, even becoming a queen. But…” He swallows. “You’re alive, Paedyn. And I didn’t know if I’d make it back in time to ever see you again.”

I smile, sad and full of understanding. “I thought I’d never get to see you again either.”

I’m just as surprised as he is when a laugh manages to escape me. His growing look of concern only spurs on the sound as I struggle to spit out, “I can’t seem to die, can I?” I wipe a loose tear from my eye. “What was it you called me?”

I can see the exact moment recognition lights his face. “A cockroach,” he chuckles, head shaking. “You’re a damn cockroach, Princess.”

CHAPTER 5Kai

I’ve rehearsed this reunion, repeated practiced words over and over in my mind.

It’s this conversation that has occupied my racing thoughts, forced my feet to tread the familiar path to his study. The one that was our father’s before it belonged to the brother now resembling him.

Or maybe he doesn’t. Maybe he is nothing like the man I loathed.

I’m not sure what to think after Kitt’s dooming declaration in the throne room. And that is exactly why I find myself standing before that familiar wooden door—answers.

After three raps of my knuckle, I’m turning the handle and stepping into the room. The small space is stuffy, like that cellar where the Enforcer reunited with his Silver Savior. My gaze skims over the surrounding study, these four walls trapping so much of my past within. Embers endure a slow death at the bottom of the hearth, glowing faintly with the final remnants of warmth. Three plush chairs face the fireplace, one leather and worn and stealing my attention for a moment too long.

I clear my throat before striding toward the large desk at the centerof the room. Kitt’s head is bowed, eyes tracing the parchment clutched between his fingers. It’s only when I’m looming over him that his head lifts. “Hello, Brother.”

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