Page 125 of Fearless

My feet have suddenly left the sand. Within a single heartbeat, he’s hooked a hand around my thigh and thrown me across his back. Standing, he tips backward, pushing my legs into the air in a crude sort of somersault that has me hurtling to the ground.

The little air in my lungs leaves in a rush. I’m left sputtering at the sky, every inch of me throbbing. I barely notice Kai scoop up my forgotten dagger, hardly care when he points it down at me.

“Come on, Paedyn,” he murmurs. “Don’t give up yet.”

My eyes drift toward that screen above the arena, finding my bloody face staring back. I look tired—so, so tired of surviving. For the first time, I want to be free of my fight.

But for Kai, I give myself a demise worth remembering. My leg lifts suddenly, connecting with the hand holding my dagger. The impact has the weapon flipping from his fingers. Silver glints in the shining sun as my blade sinks into the sand beside me.

I don’t waste this sudden sliver of strength. My other foot hooks behind one of his shifting feet and tugs with every bit of might I can muster.

Just as I had done with the king, I now do with his son.

Kai crashes into the sand as I fumble for the dagger. I’m throwing a leg over him, straddling his body like I have so many times before. Weapon in hand, I loom over him, my victory a plunging blade away.

Instead, I watch those gray eyes widen when I push the dagger’s hilt into his palm.

My fingers wrap around his, wanting to hold them one last time. The blade is aimed at my chest, inches from my pounding heart. “It’s okay,” I whisper. “I’m ready. I’ve been ready my whole life.”

He shakes his head, lifting it slightly from the sand. “What if I want to save you today?” The dagger turns, his hand guiding its tip toward his own chest. “Maybe that will help make up for every time I haven’t been able to save another.”

“No,” I choke out. The blade’s point grows dangerously close to his chest, even as I uselessly fight against his strength. “No, stop it.”

His eyes remain locked on mine. “It’s okay.”

“No!” I croak, now grabbing his hand with both of mine. Tears blur my view of this sickening scene. “Kai, stop!”

The dagger’s tip meets his chest.

I’m begging now. “Please! Kai, I need you!”

“It’s okay,” he repeats softly. “It’ll be okay. Just help me now.”

Tears stream down my face. Am I breathing? “No, I won’t!” I try to pull my hands from the blade, but he lifts his free one, clamping it around mine.

Steel pierces his skin.

“No!” I struggle against him, trying to pry the dagger from where it’s begun sliding into his chest with a sickening sound. “No, please!” I fight the slow fatality with all my strength. It’s no use.

The blade sinks farther, springing bright blood from the deepening wound. My tears splatter into the pool of crimson, sobs tearing free from my raw throat.

One last time, he whispers, “It’s okay. It was a good fight.”

And then the blade is buried to its hilt.

I scream.

It’s the sound of my heart shattering. I can feel the drifting shards in my chest, piercing lungs that can no longer draw breath. I’m choking on disbelief, clawing at the slipping strands of a life I wanted with him.

The finality of this moment is chilling enough to quiet the voices of thousands around us.

“No, no, no…” My trembling hands press against the wound, blood staining my palms and stinging my nose.

Kai’s eyes are on the sky, his gaze growing distant. “Pull it out for me?” His shuddering gasp is accompanied by a trickle of blood at the corner of his mouth. “I want you to have it.”

I climb off him, my body shaking as I shift on the sand. Gently, I lift his head onto my lap. “No, I—I need you to heal yourself,” I beg, voice cracking. “Kai, you have to heal yourself for me.”

He manages a subtle shake of his head. “I’m not very good at healing.” His smirk is subtle. “Not enough… practice.” A rasped cough has blood sputtering from his mouth. “Besides… there is no way to heal this… hurt.”

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