Page 15 of Fearless

It’s difficult, trying to fight my smile.

Kitt has finally broken free from Father’s choking grip.

“You’re doing this solely to save Ilya.” It’s not a question from the Silver Savior, but rather, a disappointed declaration.

Kitt laces his fingers atop the desk. “I do this to make us great.”

“You don’t care for a unified kingdom?” Paedyn counters.

“That is not why I am doing this.” The king’s voice remains steady in the face of Pae’s scrutiny. “It is, for some, a positive outcome, though I don’t much care for the Elites’ powers dwindling due to repopulation with Ordinaries. Mundanes already make up half of our numbers. But we will deal with that at a later time.”

I hold my breath as Paedyn considers this for a moment. And when she leans in over the desk, so do I. “I have dreamt of a free, united Ilya all my life, and if this is the only way to achieve that, then so be it.” Her voice grows hesitant. “But it seems I have the rest of my life to change your perspective on Ordinaries.”

Kitt dips his head. “Everything has changed. And now I too wish for all of us to be united.”

My heart bangs against my chest, beating for her, beating for every moment we may never get to spend together. And when words finally spill from her lips, she might as well have plunged a dagger into my back like she promised so long ago.

“Then I will marry you, Kitt. To save this kingdom from itself.”

CHAPTER 6Paedyn

“Remember to keep your back straight. Oh, and do try to look pleasant.”

I make a face behind the dressing curtain, fully aware that Ellie can’t see it from where she stands on the other side. “Pleasant?”

I can hear the hesitant smile in her voice. “You know, maybe smile a bit. No scowling at court members.”

“But that is so much more pleasant for me,” I say wistfully. Because that is the truth, in more ways than one. It hurts less to scowl. There is no sharp, searing sensation that accompanies the downward turn of my lips. But a smile has quickly been associated with pain, leaving little joy to remain in the action.

My fingers deftly trail the jagged scar running down the side of my neck, stopping only when it reaches my collarbone and the carving beneath it. Like braille, the severed flesh tells a story. Each drag of the king’s sword is traced along my skin, embedded into my very being.

“Are you all right back there?” Ellie’s voice grows closer. “Here, let me help you—”

“No,” I order, the word harsh enough to shock even me.

The command is met with a long, unbearable silence from the other side of the screen. Until finally, a soft “Oh, okay” shyly meets my ears.

I take a deep breath, already regretting my clipped command. But I won’t let her see my marred skin, theObranded above my heart. That piece of myself has only ever been shared with Kai. And I intend to keep it that way.

My fingers fiddle with the line of little buttons cascading down the dress’s center. Mumbling under my breath, I finally manage to secure the last one. Only then, after ensuring that the square neckline thoroughly covers the branding of my weakness, I reveal myself to a fidgeting Ellie.

“Oh, it’s lovely.” She moves to step behind me, hesitating slightly. “Um, may I tighten this tie for you?”

I swallow, once again ashamed that I’d snapped at her. My apology takes the form of a slightly pained smile. “Yes, of course.”

She makes quick work of the tie, stealing my breath with each tug. “Do you think Adena would like this dress?”

Ellie’s question makes me pause, and her sudden stillness tells me that she hadn’t intended on asking it. But for the first time since her death, the sound of Adena’s name doesn’t feel like a twisted knife to the gut. No, I want to remember her like this. See her in the stitching of a dress or in the rays of the sun. Watch her shine through every second for as long as I remain breathing the air she no longer can.

I glance at the mirror beside me, studying the planes of the dress. “She’d like the color,” I say softly. Ellie’s relieved breath tickles the back of my neck. “She would say that the deep blue brings out my eyes. But Plague knows she’d ensure the skirt was… ugh, what would she say?” I stare at the draping fabric until my eyes are crinkling with sudden recollection. “Voluptuous. That’s the word.”

Ellie giggles softly, stepping beside me to examine the dress fully. “Yes, that does sound like her.”

I run my sweaty palms over the tight bodice, avoiding my own gaze in the mirror. “Come,” Ellie says softly. “Let’s make those blue eyes pop even more.”

She ushers me to the vanity, where I sit stiffly atop the cushioned bench. My lashes are soon lined with coal, face powdered, and bruises concealed. She paints my lips a deep red, perhaps to match the blood forever coating my hands—

My breath catches at the comparison my muddled mind has made. I keep my gaze lowered after the jarring thought, hiding from my own reflection in the mirror. Because I’m scared of what I’ll see there. Will it be the broken girl staring back, or the traitor queen I’ll soon become?

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