Page 154 of Fearless

“Do you, Paedyn Gray, take Kitt Azer to be your husband and king?”

My stomach flips, heart hanging on to the thread of freedom I haveleft. I am a single “I do” away from signing my soul with another’s name. One that is not Kai Azer, Enforcer, my cocky bastard.

The throne room is smothered in silence as I scan the expectant crowd. I look for him in every face, every gap between finely dressed bodies. Jax, Andy, Calum, Mira, Gail—strangers. Kai is nowhere to be found, just as he promised.

“Paedyn?” The Scholar raises his bushy brows at me.

Still, I wait for something to save me from this moment. I teeter before the rest of my life and beg for someone to catch me before I fall. My dress grows too tight as hope flees from my chest, stealing all the air with it.

It takes me a long moment to realize that nothing and no one will ever save me. Those who have in the past are dead. The one who would in this present is likely under a willow tree, already mourning me. So I face my fate alone and look it in the eyes.

Kitt shifts slightly, his gaze urging me to speak what I must.

Stronger than I feel and more damning than I let on, I utter, “I do.”

“Then I pronounce you husband and wife.”

The king nods slightly. I nod back as his queen.

“You may kiss the bride and seal this union.”

My mouth dries. I had forgotten about that bit.

Kitt, ever kingly and calm, leans in to press his lips to mine. It is soft, a bearing of his soul despite never doing so with words. This kiss tastes like the sweet end of an apology, or the lingering of a farewell. And when he pulls away, I’m left staring into the face of my husband.

I expel the panic from my being and swallow the realization of what I’ve done.

We turn toward the court, hand in hand. The Scholar lifts that lethal crown from its pedestal and lifts it high above my head. Bending my knees, I force the constant tremble from my limbs.

“People of Ilya, I present unto you, Paedyn Azer, your undoubted queen consort.” The Scholar’s decree rings through the throne room. “And your king, Kitt Azer, savior of Ilya. May their union bring prosperity to our kingdom and greatness to our histories.”

The court claps, forcing smiles onto begrudging faces. We step from the dais a married couple and walk down the aisle as royals. I focus only on making it beyond those open doors as we parade through the center of this court.

My gaze is fixed distantly on the sliver of freedom ahead when I see him.

Time slows. My heart splinters.

Kai stands in the doorway, his chest heaving as though he has sprinted past his best judgment and found himself here. A broken sort of acknowledgment of my fate fills his face. I see the exact moment he realizes he is too late.

His gray eyes flick between the two of us in disbelief. Even the Enforcer did not believe I would go through with it, and his hurt cuts me deep.

I failed him. I failed us.

Still, he musters a small smile.

It is the look of letting someone go.

And it tears me to pieces.

He was going to save me.

CHAPTER 57Kai

Shadows skitter over my skin, as if summoned by the darkness brewing within me.

Rough bark digs into my spine, kneading my back with gnarled fingers. I lean my head against the willow’s sturdy trunk, watching warmth filter through the veil of branches. The long, drooping leaves cast shifting shadows across my skin as they sway in the breeze, dappling me in both light and dark.

I haven’t left the willow’s comforting embrace since Paedyn left mine. My gaze lifts to the sun above, winking at me through the shifting umbrella of leaves. The wedding has likely started already, but I’m rooted to the spot like this tree beside me.

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