I realize then that I’m beaming at the bullseye I’ve struck. Taming the triumph on my features, I turn toward the seemingly casual Kai. His hands are tucked loosely in his pockets, hair tousled, and eyes bright in the fading sunlight.
He is beautiful.
The thought isn’t a surprise. And yet, I’m unable to tear my gaze from him. Such stoic strength seeps from him like the shadow clinging to his heels. This is a boy who has known little more than hardship his whole life, wounded by the man who raised him and left by the brother who loved him.
The brother who hated me.
“What is it?” Kai’s voice is laced with concern.
Frustrated, I wipe at the emotion welling in my eyes. “It’s nothing. I’m sorry. This is supposed to be a distraction for you and…”
“Talk to me, Pae,” Kai urges. He pries the bow from my sweaty hand before tossing it aside.
I shake my head. “It’s just… I hate that he hated me.”
“He didn’t. He wasn’t himself, and you were just…” His gray gaze falls from my face. “In his way.”
That gnawing numbness I’ve suppressed over the past several days comes rushing to the surface. “I cared for him. And this is all my fault—”
“No. We read his letters.” Kai grasps my hands. “You know what he said in that study. None of this was your fault. Kitt was sick. Both physically and mentally. He only wanted to prove himself.” His voice grows rougher with every word. “Did I make him feel that way? Why did he take that Plague? Did he think I needed him to be anything more?”
“No, Kai.” I cut off the dangerous thought before it can fester. “He wanted you at his side because you never made him feel inferior. You were the good in his life. The anchor he clung to.”
“Kitt was the good brother,” Kai murmurs. “Not me.”
“Good. Bad.” I shrug a shoulder. “We are all just shadows of what we believe to be true.”
Kai’s scoff is pained. “Kitt certainly believed in something.”
“And you?” I prod. “What does the future king of Ilya believe in?”
He ponders this for a moment. “The inevitable. You.” His fingers tickle my cheek on their way to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. “I think we got it wrong in Dor. You are the Flame. And I… I am the Shadow falling at your feet.”
Eventually, we fire the rest of our arrows at that target.
Unsurprisingly, I gloat thoroughly at my predestined victory.
Delicately, we visit the willow tree and those buried peacefully beneath.
Admittedly, I fail to be a diversion from Kitt’s death.
Foolishly, a poet tells me I am never not his distraction.
CHAPTER 73Kai
There is still dirt under my nails when the crown is placed on my head.
It is a silver tangle of steel, sharp and swirling among my black hair.
Kitt’s golden crown remains with him, still gently resting on his brow beneath the willow tree’s base.
I stare out at the court from the very dais my brother once stood upon. But startlingly, I don’t feel that gaping absence of him anymore. No, he stands at my side, a warm hand on my shoulder and smile in my very soul.
From Enforcer to king. Monster to redeemed.
“I will continue what my brother started,” I inform the court, though they hadn’t known the truth of his plans. And they never will.
I have a promise to keep.