Page 39 of Fearless

“I don’t need to say goodbye,” I answer blandly. “Because I will see you after the Trial.”

Her gaze is distant. “I’m going to the Scorches. Or the Shallows.” I still at her words, prepared to ask how she knows this when the answer spills from her mouth. “Kitt told me. Two of the Trials will take place at the remaining landmarks I haven’t yet survived.”

I shake my head. “Of course they will. I shouldn’t be surprised that the court would throw you somewhere you’ve never been before.” She opens her mouth, urging me to add, “But, no, I won’t say goodbye, because you’re going to be fine. Bravery is the least of your worries.”

She’s quiet for a troublesome amount of time. Then, a soft smile finds its way to her lips. “When I left for the Purging Trials, Adena reassured me that it wasn’t a goodbye, simply a good way to say bye until I saw her again.” She swallows thickly. “It was the most ridiculous line, but she said it so many times over the years.”

She makes a pained sound that slightly resembles a laugh. I look down at her, finding a mingling of grief and anger harshening her features. My fingers lift her chin. “So, in the wise words of Adena, this is simply a good way to say bye until… whatever the hell.”

She was laughing before I’d even begun trailing off. But this time, it’s the kind of sound that has my breath catching, eyes unblinking so I don’t miss a single second of it. “Until whatever the hell,” Paedyn repeats with a nod.

I smile until the one she wears fades, and even then, I grin again in the hopes hers will return. After a moment too long, I finally admitwhy it is I’m here in the first place. “I have something for you.”

A shadow of skepticism falls over her face. “Should I be worried?”

Reaching into my boot, I carefully slide the gift from it. “Ishould be worried. It will likely find its way to my neck again.”

The silver dagger gleams, as if calling to her.

Her eyes widen, roaming up the sharp blade and over the swirling pattern dressing the hilt. Reaching out slowly, she grabs hold of her father’s knife. And for this one, single moment, all is right in the world.

There she is, the Silver Savior, standing before me—dagger in hand and a smile spreading across her face.

“Thank you.” She can hardly get the words out. “I thought I would never see it again.”

I smile. “Just try your best not to slice me open, yes?”

“You first, Prince.”

Her words are meant to tease, but instead my eyes drift to the scar crawling across her thigh. The smile fades from my face at the reminder of what I’d done to her while trying to fulfill my mission. She takes a step closer, sensing my sudden seriousness with a slight look of concern. My gaze trails up to the letter I know to be carved above her heart.

Her palm finds my face in a gentle caress. “You’re not him.”

Those three words threaten to shatter me to pieces.

I can’t bring myself to look at her. It’s a sudden, deafening relief that follows in the wake of her reassurance. I hadn’t even realized how terribly I’d needed to hear that from her lips. The symmetries between my father and the monster he made of me have haunted every corner of my mind for as long as I can remember.

“Kai.” Her voice is delicate enough to refocus my fragile mind. “You’re not him,” she whispers again, tears pricking those beautiful blue eyes. “I need you to know that. For me.”

I nod, not knowing where all my words went. She holds my face inher hands, holds me together with a touch I wish would belong to only me. “You’re not him,” she repeats with a soft smile. “But you have both left very different marks on my heart. One anO, and the other something even more damning.”

Her unspoken words hang in the air between us.

“Paedyn.” I tip my forehead against hers, aching to say what she is so scared of. In that field of poppies, I told her how impossible it was to stop myself from falling in love with her. And yet, the three damning words have yet to fall from my lips.

I love you.

I open my mouth, but it’s her strained voice I hear. “Don’t. Not yet.” She blows out a breath, her fingers brushing down the length of my cheek. “Every person who has ever said that to me is gone. And I… I need you more than I need those words.”

I smile, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “It will take far more than mere words to drag me from you, darling.”

“It better,” she breathes.

Her dagger hangs loosely from the hand she’s twined around my neck. Odd, that there was once a time I feared her burying it into my back. Now I readily bare my weaknesses before her.

It’s as though she is whole again in my arms, reunited with the ghost of her father and held in the arms of her Enforcer. And when she kisses me, long and fierce, I realize how happily I’d live the rest of my life at the end of a blade. So long as she is the one holding it.

CHAPTER 15Paedyn

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