Page 41 of Fearless

So I look away, letting my feet carry me even farther from him.

CHAPTER 16Paedyn

My throat is dry, tasting of déjà vu.

With every shuffling step I take, history repeats itself. Yet again, here I am—sand slipping into my boots and sun stinging my skin. At least this time, the end is in sight.

I trudge toward the rocky path, desperately wishing this Trial took place in the welcoming field of poppies beside it. The sun has tiptoed across the sky, sneaking up on the horizon. Not only have I been tasked with finding the first queen’s coveted crown, but I’m also racing against time itself.

I pick up my sluggish pace, spinning the steel ring around my thumb.

If Father could see me now…

A pang of my heart hits me hard in the chest. Not the typical sadness that seizes me when I think of him and the death he met, but the type of hurt that tends to accompany truth. Because he’s not my father.

The words sound cruel, even from where they echo in my skull. And in most ways, it’s unfair of me to think that. I have been unwanted in this kingdom from the moment I was born. But not to the man who foundme on his doorstep after losing a wife and child of his own. I became his everything. And maybe that is all you need to earn the title of “father.”

It’s only when gravel crunches beneath my boots that I realize I’ve stepped into the Sanctuary of Souls. Clearing my thoughts and gathering my vigilance, I head down the wide path that eventually leads to Dor. My pace quickens without the sand to slow me, leaving a wall of stones on each side.

The sheath strapped to my thigh has grown hot in the sun, but habit has me resting a hand on the hilt of my dagger. It’s eerily quiet on the stony path, putting me on edge. Bandits have claimed this land, stolen it from the souls themselves. And I know firsthand how cutthroat they can be.

I scan the towering stones beside me, looking for any sign of movement. Worry quickly creeps its way into my thoughts, doubt following soon after. I haven’t the slightest idea which cave hidden among the rocks contains the lonely queen within it. “So I’ll have to search all of them,” I mutter under my breath.

The sun has dipped behind a cluster of looming boulders, and I’m left oddly cold without its consistent comfort. My tired gaze stumbles over the sight of a cave to my left. Pace quickening, I head for the gaping entrance.

I’m swallowed in darkness after several slow steps beneath the arching stone. My hands grope for the wall, palms flat against cool rock in an attempt to guide. Jagged creases of stone slice at my skin to spring blood from thin cuts.

I bite my tongue against the stinging pain and accompanying stickiness that now coats my palm. Forcing myself to focus on feeling what I cannot see, I drop to my knees. My hands roam over the cold floor of the cave, searching for any sort of clue.

“What the hell am I doing?” I whisper, already losing my patience. Father may have trained me to be hyper observant, but the key to my “Psychic” ability is sight. And that is precisely what I am missing at the moment.

As I crawl farther into the cave, darkness weighs down on me like a smothering blanket. I blink, unable to fathom the nothingness in front of me. After several minutes of fumbling fingers, panting breaths, and nothing to show for it, I turn and head for the ring of light at the tunnel’s opening.

I stumble out of the cave, nearly blinded by the setting sunlight. Sucking in a deep breath, I rest shaking hands on my knees. It is only then that I allow myself to acknowledge how terrified I had been. The absence of light is the absence of knowledge. I have no idea what it is that awaits me in these caves, and that is a foolishness I fear.

Squeezing my eyes shut, I take a deep breath, willing myself to calm. After a long, steadying moment, I set off again down the path. My mind races to conjure up a plan that helps me see within the caves. But I hardly have the time to build a fire, let alone scrounge up the wood for it. I shake my head at nothing but my circumstance, angered that the only tool at my disposal is a dagger.

Again and again, I’ve been set up for failure.

It is that bitter thought alone that has me charging into the next cave.

This one is taller, allowing me to maintain my straight spine as I step farther into the blackness. With one hand dragging along the wall beside me, I extend the other in the hopes of finding—

My palm collides with a stubbornly solid wall.

I let out a grunt of pain, shaking out my wrist. With an aching hand, I search the slab of stone before concluding that I’ve truly met a dead end. I can’t say I’m not thrilled to be leaving the cave, but when I’m bathedin sunlight once again, it’s a struggle to force my feet down the path.

The next two caves I venture into follow the same disappointing routine. I stumble inside, run my hands along the walls and floors, panic in the small space, and eventually give up to scramble back toward the rapidly setting sun.

Now I stand at the mouth of the next taunting cave, mustering my courage. A golden ray stretches across the stone floor, as though the sun itself is pointing a finger. I follow the beam’s path, my heart stuttering at what lies glinting within it.

I drop to my knees beside the scattered silver strands, eyes wide as I take in the pieces of a girl I left behind. Blood coats each sliver of severed hair, dulling the silver braid beneath. Tears prick my eyes for the version of me that still lingers in this cave where Kai held the broken shards of me together.

So much hurt had lived within the strands of something so unsuspecting. And when I could no longer handle the weight of blood coating my hair, my very body and being, I begged my captor to free me of it.

The one person meant to be my undoing saved me from it.

I gather the scattered pieces, ignoring the feel of dried blood that paints them. It feels symbolic in a way, like gripping a tangible moment in time. My gaze lifts to the small cave curved around me. The crypt is not here, but it feels like a tomb, nonetheless.

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