Page 51 of Fearless

At the mention of it, I happily pull the heavy accessory from my head. “Here. My body aches enough without this thing trying to snap my neck.”

“Well”—Kitt takes the crown slowly—“I’m sure you will be used to it soon enough.”

“Right,” I say awkwardly.

Thought of our engagement has his gaze dropping to the ring still clinging to my finger. Emotion flits from ear to ear as he gently lifts my hand. The clearing of his throat turns into a slight cough. “We will have to get this cleaned.”

He runs a thumb over the muddy diamond. Then his gaze lifts to mine, calculating in a way that surprises me. But his next words are far more startling. “After that, we’ll ensure the ring finds its way back onto the correct finger.”

My heart stutters against bruised ribs.

I look down, eyes snapping to the ring still decorating my right hand. Still exactly where Kai had left it the night before my Trial.

I never put it back.

My mouth opens, ready to spew an excuse, spin the truth into something less damning. Kitt has already expressed his concern for my relationship with Kai, and this has all but confirmed it. I can feel the panic that pushes against my blood-splattered face, slowly rearranging my features into something all too incriminating.

That is when my eyes wander over the king’s shoulder, as if pulled there by a tether I can’t seem to untangle myself from.

A gray gaze locks with mine, and I can read the relief within it at the sight of me. My body trembles; my throat burns. I ache to fall into his arms.

I made it back to him. I lived to spend another day pretending I’m not in love with him.

Kai’s long strides carry him toward us to spare me from spewing a lie to the king. Only then does the Enforcer tear his attention from me, pinning it on Kitt. “The court seems a bit restless, Brother. You might want to go back in there and say a few words.”

One moment, the king’s gaze is flicking between the two of us, seeming to piece together our puzzle of pretend. And in the next, he directs cheery words toward his brother. “Yes, I suppose I should. I’ll also announce the ball we’ll be hosting tomorrow night in honor of this remarkable achievement.”

I force a smile, though he wasn’t speaking to me. “Thank you. But I’m not sure I’ll be up for dancing.”

His gaze meets mine after a long moment. “I’ll have a Healer sent to your rooms.” The shake of my head is interrupted by his stern words. “Let him help you. That is an order from your king.” With that, he backs away, lifting the crown slightly. “I look forward to hearing the story behind this. But for now, rest.”

I sag against the wall when he strides back into the throne room.

Kai is on me in an instant. His arm is sure around my waist, breath warm against my ear. “I’ve got you. I’ve got you, Pae.”

I feel willingly weak with him to hold me, as if strength is a facade only needed when he is not near. And it’s that realization that has every moment of the Trial flooding back. My eyes fall to the trembling, bloody hands I hold out to him. “I’ve… I’ve stained my soul again.”

“Shh.” He grabs my wrists, pressing those bloody palms against his black tunic. “There. Now it’s my soul that is stained.”

I laugh weakly for him, though it sounds more like a sob. Still holding my wrists, he guides those crimson hands around his neck. My eyelids flutter closed when his arms encircle me, warm and comforting. But when my feet leave the ground, they fly open.

“Easy,” he murmurs, hearing the protests I don’t say. “It would be your wedding day before you made it to your rooms.”

My head lolls against his shoulder with each step he takes down the hall. “I didn’t think you would ever speak of my wedding.”

He swallows. “I thought you might not walk through those doors tonight. And it made me realize that I’d much rather spend the rest of my life apart from you, watching at a distance, than without you.”

I swallow. My throat is dry. “You shouldn’t be doing this. We are supposed to keep our distance. Now more than ever.”

“Yes,” he says simply. “Which is why I’m selfishly stealing this moment.”

I’m too tired to formulate a response, let alone a coherent thought. He turns a corner, holding me close. I let my eyes wander over his stubbled jaw, over the worry creased between those dark eyebrows. I’m lulled by his even steps, hypnotized by the rhythmic beat of his heart beneath my ear.

“Turn the handle for me, would you, darling?”

I must have dozed off because when I pry open my eyes, we’re standing before my bedroom door.

“I’d rather not kick it down this time,” Kai continues. “No need to give Andy yet another reason to be pissed with me.”

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