Page 55 of Fearless

Ellie bustles around the room, readying herself for the great deal of work that awaits. Having slept so late, I’ve left her with little time to make my damp hair and raw skin look presentable. I watch her quick movements, unnerved by the fact that we have yet to speak since Kai’s late arrival in my rooms.

“You’re all set, miss.”

I startle at the man’s deep voice beside me. “Yes, thank you,” I manage to the Healer, adding a quick nod in emphasis. He returns the gesture before making his way out of the room, leaving my healed body behind.

With a sigh of relief, I stand to my feet, stretching out stiff limbs. “It no longer feels like I nearly died yesterday,” I say cheerily. “In fact, I think I may actually be in the mood for dancing.”

“Someone seems happy.” Ellie pats the vanity chair with a smile, beckoning me to her.

I sit before her, letting my eyelids flutter shut as she begins powdering my skin. “I feel good. Hopeful.”

“I’m glad.”

Something about her tone has my eyes snapping open. “And this good mood has nothing to do with K—” I take a breath. “With the Enforcer.”

“Mm-hmm,” she hums, lips tucked into a thin smile.

“Ellie, there is nothing going on between me and…” I trail off when she shakes her head at me.

“Paedyn, I don’t need to know about you and the prince. I just…”She chews on her bottom lip. “I just hope you’re being careful. Queens are not as easily forgiven as their kings.”

Her words are a much-needed reminder. My eyes fall on the ring still residing on my right hand—a detail Kitt will not soon forget. The warm bath water has thoroughly cleaned it of the mud, leaving the promise to glint in my lap.

With a deep breath, I slip it onto the correct finger.

Ellie doesn’t seem to notice as she continues with that soft smile of hers. “But I enjoy seeing you giddy like this. It reminds me of Adena and her boy from Loot.”

My whole body stiffens beneath her hand currently dragging a dark line of kohl atop my lashes. “What are you talking about?”

I hear the hesitance in her voice, the quiet sadness that remains there. “That’s right. She never told you, did she?” She lets the words linger. “There was this boy she would sneak off to see while you were in the Trials.”

My heart pounds in time with her words, aching like it has since the day Adena died. “Why… why didn’t she tell me?”

Ellie pulls back, allowing me to open the eyes now welling with tears. “She didn’t want to distract you from the Trials.” Her lips pull into a thin smile. “She said you wouldn’t rest until you met him and approved. So the plan was to tell you after. But then…”

“There was no after,” I whisper, turning away with a shuddering breath. “She was always too damn selfless.”

We fall silent as Ellie hesitantly returns to the task at hand. After a long while in which I dwell only within my thoughts, I manage to gather enough courage to peek at my reflection. But I don’t recognize the girl within it. Her lashes are darkened, her lips tinted the color of blood. She looks like the sharpness that piercing grief hones one into. Like fearlessness carved out of necessity, not courage.

“I want her with me tonight. Adena,” I say quietly, breaking the silence that has long stretched between us.

Ellie nods in understanding and swings open the closet doors.

Silver pools at my feet, cascading down the body above.

Cool air brushes the low dip of my bare back. The dagger strapped to my thigh is more of a comfort than anything, as is the steel ring I spin on my thumb.

So much has changed since the first time I wore this dress. And yet, here I am again, walking toward a ball in honor of the Trials I’m competing in. Only, I’ve now gained a ring on my hand. Cut the hair falling down my back. Earned more scars I’m ashamed of. Lost the girl who made this very dress for me.

I pull at the elegant shawl around my shoulders, ensuring it covers theOcarved above my heart. Thankfully, Ellie hadn’t questioned me when I requested to wear the silver wrapping. It ties elegantly beneath my breasts, draping over my shoulders while still covering the maimed skin I wish to hide.

Kitt nods as I approach the closed door to the ballroom. There is no denying how handsome he looks in a black suit. It’s perfectly tailored to his body, contrasting against the blond hair and golden crown atop his head.

“You look lovely,” he says evenly.

I smile, trying to warm this frigid indifference between us. “Thank you, Kitt. You look very handsome.”

He nods his thanks before offering me a stiff arm. I accept it, feeling more than a little awkward as I do. Kitt doesn’t waste a moment before tilting his chin toward the Imperials beside us. Understanding his silent request, they begin to open the massive doors.

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