Page 75 of Fearless

Her smile is sad. “I’ve just had more practice at it.”

I shut my eyes for a long moment, reminded of the wearisome life she’s endured. “I know.”

She manages a smile, her fingers suddenly closing around the bottle once again. As soon as it’s pried from my hand, she’s lifting it into the air. “But we don’t need to pretend in here.”

After taking another sip, she hands the rum to me between coughs. “I’ll drink to that,” I mutter before sitting up and swallowing a mouthful.

She wags a finger at me. “But that means we have to be on our best behavior when and if we make it back to Ilya.” Her gaze drops to the ring hugging her finger. “Kitt noticed that this was on the wrong finger from the night you came to my rooms. So no more sneaking around. Let’s just… enjoy this time together.”

Because we won’t get it again.

I hear the unspoken words hanging between us. They mock me, just like that glinting diamond she wears. Every moment with her is spent mourning the next, awaiting the day we speak for the last time.

She glances up at me. Clears her throat. “I went to his rooms last night.”

My blood chills. “Did you?”

Words spill from her mouth, sounding more and more like aconfession. “I’m just trying to fix this… awkwardness between us. If we are supposed to spend the rest of our lives together, I want to at least enjoy being around one another. He is so stoic with me, and that is certainly not the Kitt I once knew, nor is that the brother he is toward you. So… I will keep befriending him in the hopes he will eventually reciprocate.”

She looks back at me expectantly, brows raised. I let her words sink in before washing them down with another swig of rum. It burns in my throat as I reach for the little purple book beside her. “What are you reading?”

My hand is quickly halted by her quick snatching of my wrist. “Did you even hear anything I just said?”

“I heard you.” My hands cup her face. “I did. I do. And if you want me to tell you the sheer extent of my jealousy, then I will. But I’d rather not waste what little time we have together talking about my brother. Especially while I sit on your bed and try to stop myself from doing something rash with my future queen.” My eyes flick between her wide ones. “But when we are back in that palace, I will let you see just how much I hate that you are not mine.”

Paedyn’s mouth parts. “Okay. I… um…” It seems I’ve rendered her speechless. She clears her throat before trying again. “What was it you asked?”

My smile is wicked. “Your book, darling.”

“Right.” She takes a deep breath. “It’s one I loved as a child. Calum brought a few for me.”

I place a hand on her thigh, leaning in to watch her flip open the cover. Faded illustrations are scattered throughout the pages, as are several pencil markings I can’t quite make out.

“My father used to read them to me,” she says softly. “This one was my favorite.”

“Tell me about it,” I murmur.

My request makes her smile. “It’s about phoenixes and other mystical creatures I always wished to meet. But it was the girl in this story that I liked most.”

She pauses on a random page, running her finger over a faint message scribbled there in crooked handwriting.

I want to be powerful like her.

Paedyn shakes her head at the words before closing the book. “It’s just a silly story.”

I watch her for a long moment, though she avoids my gaze. “And the other books?”

“Mostly magic and worlds I wanted to escape to.” She sounds oddly bashful. “Worlds where I might have fit in.”

I shift, laying my head back onto her lap. “So which one will you be reading to me?”

Her whole face lights up, and it is a beautiful thing to behold. “Really?”

“I’m all ears, Gray.”

Beaming, she flips to the front of that purple book. “Phoenixes it is, then.”

My eyes fall shut when soft words begin spilling from her mouth. I’m quickly lost in the story, in the hypnotic voice that strings it together. The rocking ship lulls me into that fleeting sense of peace while her fingers comb through my hair, tickle my skin.

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