Page 85 of Fearless

Blood rushes to my head. Knees buckle. Kai guides me to the soaking deck with arms that dragged my soul from Death’s clutches. “I’ve got you,” he pants against my ear. “I’ve got you, Pae.”

I press my head into his chest, tears leaking from my eyes. The storm rages around us and still he holds me. His body quivers against mine, likely from exhaustion, but perhaps from the fading fear. I feel him shift, lifting an arm from around me. I’m too tired to track the movement, but when the rope is suddenly cut from my wrists, I realize that he’s pulled his sword from the sailor’s chest.

Kai then gently stretches out my legs, cutting them free with a precise swipe of his blade. My dazed stare lands on the bodies littering the deck beside us. Both are covered in blood, their gazes glassily turned to the stormy sky. The realization that I’m likely sitting in their blood doesn’t torment me as much as I thought it would. In fact, I believe I could bathe in their remains for being the reason my last piece of Adena is destroyed.

And just like that, I’m one step closer to overcoming this choking fear of blood.

Kai is suddenly crouching before me, turning my face from the dead bodies with a gentle press of his fingers against my jaw. “Are you all right?” As if unable to restrain himself, he cups my face in his handsbefore running swift fingers down my body to check for wounds.

“I’m okay.” My whisper is nearly lost in the howling wind, but I know he hears it when his eyes snap to mine. “I’m okay. I’m alive.” Tears are pricking my eyes again. “Because of you.”

Water drips from his lashes, but it’s the slight indent of his right dimple that my eyes fall to. “I promised to save your life again and again. And I will, whether you allow me to stay in it or not.”

I nod at him, vision blurry from my tears and the sky’s. “Now, let’s get you inside,” he says, scooping me into his arms.

I let him carry me into my cabin. Let him convince me to stay put. Let him retrieve my dagger from under the pillow and shove it into my hand. “This would have been useful tonight,” I say weakly.

He shakes his head, and I see the shade of anger that falls over his face. “They drugged me in my sleep. Then that Illusionist cast you sleeping beside me so I’d see you when I woke up.”

“What?” I could almost laugh. “They hardly seemed like the calculating type.” My gaze drops to the dagger I wish I’d had with me. “But after they drugged you, I woke to the three of them dragging me from the room. I couldn’t break free, couldn’t move….” I swallow at the reminder of my panic. “I was screaming, but no one heard me. Or no onewantedto hear me. Then they tied me up, gagged me, and… well, you know the rest.”

Rage rolls off him in waves as deadly as the ones colliding with this ship. “You’re not safe here. I told Kitt that. And where was the rest of the crew?” He begins pacing, fists clenched beside his drenched pants. “They were likely in on this in some way. And if I’m right, I will deal with them when we return to Ilya. But for now, we need them to get us back there in one piece.”

I offer him a nod. “That sounds like a good plan.”

“What,” he muses, “you’re okay with the spilling of so much blood?”

I run a finger down my blade before flicking my eyes up to his. “It depends on whose blood.”

He’s never kissed me so thoroughly.

“Paedyn, miss, I cannot tell you how shocked I was to hear what some of my men tried to do last night.”

I stare at the captain, my face blank as I await an apology. Kai had already charged into Torri’s quarters last night to fill him in on the eventful evening. By the time he returned to the cabin, I was fast asleep, my dagger clutched in a fist.

Now I sit in the captain’s cushy dining area, my fingers laced atop the wooden table and expression unamused. The sleepy sun fights to peek around the thick blanket of clouds, occasionally slipping a ray of light through one of the many windows. The room is larger than I’d expected with wide shelves that line the walls, all filled with toppled-over trinkets and maps.

A particularly worn piece of parchment curls against the wall opposite me, snagging my attention. It’s decorated with an assortment of sketched cities and their accompanying flags. Well aware of what kingdoms live on our map, I begin to steer my gaze away before it stumbles over splotches of unfamiliarity.

The scribbled world I’m staring at extends beyond Izram.

My eyes narrow on the foreign masses of land bubbling from the Shallows. No map I’ve ever studied has looked like this. I can’t make out the names of these supposed kingdoms from where I’m sitting, but after reading about that mythical city of shadows, I’d bet “Astrum” has been wistfully scrawled atop an inky landmass.

I almost smile.

So this is what keeps sailors setting off for a horizon they likely won’tmeet before their doom. Adventure. The hope of a discovery thrilling enough to risk their mundane lives. They navigate from a different map, one inked in myths and legends.

I admire their resilience in finding something to live for.

I turn my attention back to where Torri sits at the head of the table, his splotchy face wearing an uncomfortable expression. Kai stands beside me, looking every bit my Enforcer as he leans against the back of my chair. “So, you knew nothing of your crew’s plan to murder their future queen?” he asks smoothly.

“Crew?” Torri bellows. “No, sir, as we discussed last night in private, these three men acted alone. There were only a handful of sailors on that deck last night and most of them were at the helm. We could hardly see a damn thing through that rain.”

He says this all rather quickly, as if forced to spit out the words before they are forgotten. I incline my head toward the captain. “Why were so few of your men on the deck during such a storm?”

Torri’s large hands wave with each of his words. “My crew had been battling that storm for two days straight. They needed sleep, miss.” He laughs uncomfortably. “I had them on shifts to conserve their strength and—”

“Forgive me for interrupting, Captain”—Kai says this in a tone that suggests he’s certainly not asking for forgiveness—“but I still haven’t heard an apology for Miss Gray.”

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