Page 95 of Fearless

“I know, but”—I swallow before hurling the harsh truth at him—“there is no us. There can never be an us, Kai. Not really.”

Silence.

The words hurt, tearing ribbons of regret up my throat. I can feel the slow shattering of my heart with every day we spend pretending. And speaking the inevitability of our doom only fissures the organ further.

Something shifts behind his gaze. Maybe it’s hurt. Perhaps disbelief. In fact, I don’t care what emotion lingers behind the mask he’s suddenly put up, only that there is one and I’m staring at it.

He seems to dull—something I’ve never seen happen when his eyes are on mine. We promised to have no masks between us, and yet, I’ve forced him to wedge one atop the hurt I caused.

His eyes drift from mine. A cold huff leaves his mouth. “The queen seemed to think as much.”

I take a deep breath before trying to justify the damage I’ve caused.“Kai, you know it’s true. You’ve always known it was true. This”—I gesture between the two of us—“is a fantasy.”

“Right. Pretend.”

“No,” I say sternly. “Nothing about the way I feel is pretend, but…” I lift my hand, letting the diamond there catch the streaky light. “I’m still marrying your brother.”

And I hate that.

He’s shaking his head now, and the bite in his voice makes me wince. “And I’ll watch you two look down at me from the dais, nothing more than a weapon you can wield just like the king you killed had.”

Disgust drenches my voice. “You think so little of me?”

“I wish I did.” His eyes are icy. “I wish I could think about anything else.”

My voice settles into something stern. Hurt hardens me, and I spew the damning truth I’ve avoided for so long. “What did you think we were going to do? Hide for the rest of our lives beneath the willow tree?”

The words are harsh enough to penetrate his mask. He blinks at me, voice low. “Well, that’s where I will be. Hiding from the royal couple.”

I shake my head. Tears sting my eyes. “You know why I have to do this.”

He laughs, and it’s a biting sound I forgot him capable of. “Of course I know. But don’t you see? That doesn’t matter.” He lifts a hand toward my face before thinking better of it. “I’m selfish, Paedyn. I burned your home to the ground just to have you and now it is all of Ilya standing in my way, tempting me to light a match.”

His words are jarring enough to have me stumbling over my own. “I’m s-sorry. You know I never wanted any of this—”

“Well, it doesn’t matter what either of us wanted, does it?” He leans back, expression cold. “It was all a fantasy anyway. Kitt is who you, theSilver Savior, were destined for.” I watch him stand to his feet in one swift movement. “I was nothing more than a distraction.”

I follow quickly after him, my expression hardening at the mocking nickname. The words I hurl at his stony facade are far from the truth, but hurt sharpens them on my tongue all the same. “Maybe you’re right.”

“You’ll find that I typically am, Majesty.”

My chest heaves, mere inches from his. It’s anger at our cruel fates that has me lashing out. “Maybe I should distance myself from this distraction.”

A muscle twitches in his jaw. “Maybe you should.”

“Fine.”

“Fine.”

I give him one last withering look before spinning on my heel and heading for the door. But the harsh words he mutters have my feet halting atop the rocking floor. “And what exactly did the queen ask you about Kitt?”

I stand there for a moment, hand clutching the door’s rough edge. Then I’m whipping around to meet his gaze of indifference with words that are equally so. “She asked if I was going to kill him.”

There is a long pause wedged between us. “And are you?”

“Again,” I say between clenched teeth, “you think so little of me?”

“You know I do not.”

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