Page 39 of Save the Date

“No, I actually love it,” Matt admitted. “But I’m worried admitting that will make me sound like a tool.”

“Wow, I don’t think I’ve heard the wordtoolused in that context for at least a decade.”

“I never stopped using it. It’s too good.”

Emma nodded in agreement as they slipped into an easy back-and-forth. Matt shared he had grown up in Michigan but had gone to UCLA for college and decided to stay. He was the oldest of four kids and the only one, other than his rebellious youngest sister, to not already be a parent.

“How old’s your sister?”

“Twenty-six. But in Michigan years that’s nearing forty.”

“Oof. I guess all the billboards advertising egg freezing in LA aren’t so bad in comparison.”

“Yeah, people are definitely on a different timeline here. My ex, Kelly, was also from the Midwest and she was constantly getting shit from her family that we weren’t pregnant. Not that we hadn’t tried…”

Matt’s mind seemed to drift elsewhere, and Emma couldn’t ignore the strained look on his face. She wondered if their fertility struggles had contributed to Kelly’s infidelity. Infertility was a notorious couples killer. Its tentacles could find a way into every aspect of a relationship, causing once strong partnerships to tear at the seams.

“It must have been hard to hear people telling you to do something you were already trying so hard to do.”

“It was awful. We didn’t want to tell people we were trying because we weren’t sure what was going on. And it felt unfair to get everyone’s hopes up.”

“I get that,” Emma said gently. “But sometimes keeping things private makes it hard to get support because no one knows what’s actually going on.”

“That’s…a great point,” Matt said and for a moment Emma felt like she was in session. This often happened when having difficult conversations with the people in her life. It was a strange feeling because on the one hand, she was always happy to provide a new perspective that might bring some peace andhealing. But on the other hand, she knew she wasn’t supposed to give someone she knew—or was getting to know—therapy over dinner.

“Do you guys still talk at all?” Emma asked.

“Me and Kelly? No, not really. Except through our lawyers. For a while she kept trying to get back together but I just can’t get past what happened.” Matt suddenly looked like he had revealed too much. “I’m not sure what Chris told you.”

“He mentioned there was some infidelity, but I don’t know any details. You don’t have to dive into it right now if you don’t want to,” Emma added even though her nosy nature was dying to know more.

“No, it’s okay.” Matt blinked a few times, the emotion around what happened clearly still raw for him. “Kel and I met back at my first job. She was only twenty-four, but already this badass office manager who everyone loved. I had gone right from undergrad to my MBA so even though I had an advanced degree I was just starting out as a lowly intern.”

“A classic start to a love story.”

“I guess it was.” Matt chuckled. “Everyone in the office had this massive crush on her so I assumed she was out of my league.”

Emma tried not to laugh at the idea that Matt—with his perfect face and charming personality—wasn’t in everyone’s league. His humility only made him more attractive.

“I never even attempted to flirt with her or anything. We just became friends. And then one night when we were both at the office working late,sheaskedmeout. I couldn’t believe it.”

“Can I ask you a personal question?”

“Sure.”

“Have you never looked in a mirror?”

Matt blushed and laughed simultaneously. “Let’s just say I didn’t have designer suits or a personal trainer at twenty-five.I’d only had one serious girlfriend and she’d cheated on me while I was getting my MBA. I wasn’t exactly confident with girls—I mean, women.” Matt checked to see if Emma was offended. She wasn’t, but it was nice to know he cared about offending people. Plenty of people didn’t.

“That makes sense. And is maybe why what happened with Kelly is so hard to forgive.”

“Exactly! She knew my history and swore she’d never hurt me like that. Cut to six years later and I find a bunch of texts on her phone to some guy claimingit was a mistakeandthey can never do it again.” Matt was getting riled up at the memory and Emma noticed a vein starting to throb in his neck. “My entire life, my entire marriage, gone.” He snapped his fingers for effect.

Emma felt both camaraderie and sadness for the similarities in their experiences. “I also had one of those earth-shattering, completely destabilizing moments when my fiancé walked out. It’s like your entire conception of the world and how it works is flipped on its head.”

“Yes! I love that you get that. I mean, I’m sorry you had to go through—”

“It’s okay. I know what you mean. It’s like there’s a contingent of us who are living in an alternate reality of what our lives were supposed to be, but we’re still expected to get up and walk around as if this reality is fine too. Even though it’s not. At least not yet.”

---