Emma looked up into the face of the man she had once planned to spend the rest of her life with. His eyes were still hazel, and his neat beard still covered the scar he’d gotten on his chin from playing flag football as a kid, proving that he had continued to exist without her. Emma’s body longed to embrace him while her mind screamed that she was in danger. She felt conflicted about what to do next. So she did nothing.
“I’m Ryan,” he said to Will after Emma had failed to respond.
“I know,” Will replied icily.
Emma felt a surge of affection for Will. She wasn’t going to have to get through this interaction alone.
“What are you doing here?” Emma asked. If he told her he was on a date, she was going to throw up—and not metaphorically. Her chronic acid reflux was already acting up from stress.
“Grabbing a drink with my boss.” Ryan gestured over his shoulder to a forty-something guy completely absorbed by his cell phone.
“Did you need something?” Will asked, catching Ryan off guard. As an unfailingly polite person, Ryan was not used to being met with anything other than civility and smiles from strangers. It thrilled Emma to see him being poorly received by someone.
“I just wanted to say hi. I’m happy to see you’re doing well.”
“Why do you think I’m doing well?” Emma asked with an aggressive raise of her eyebrows.
“I just figured…” Ryan gestured at Will as if the presence of another man absolved him of any responsibility for his past behavior. He obviously hadn’t been staying up late consuming her Neutral Third Party content like she had hoped. If he had, Ryan would know Will was actually her podcast cohost and she was currently engaged to a man with some of the best teeth she had ever seen.
“You figured what?” Will inquired, providing excellent backup.
“I’m not looking to start anything. I just wanted to say I’m glad to know we’ve both moved on. We obviously made the right decision—”
“Wedidn’t decide anything. You left me.”
“I don’t think it was that simple. Things had been off for a while.”
“Is that why you proposed? Because things had been off?”
“No, of course not. But I think we both realized we weren’t compatible in the long term.”
“I don’t recall realizing that,” Emma replied. “Maybe you had that conversation with someone else.”
Ryan put up his hands as though he was being unfairly attacked. “Listen, I just came over to clear the air. I guess that was a mistake.”
“Seems like you’ve made a lot of mistakes lately,” Will said. “Have you considered, I don’t know, apologizing?”
Ryan shook his head as if he was the only sane person in the room, which infuriated Emma. She might be the one with an anxiety disorder, but at least she wasn’t the selfish asshole who refused to take any responsibility for his actions.
“I’m gonna head back. Have a good night,” Ryan said as he turned to leave on his high horse.
“Wait,” Emma shouted louder than she intended to.
Ryan tentatively turned around. While Emma had initially froze upon seeing Ryan, she could feel her nervous system waking up and shifting into fight mode. She knew this might be her one chance to tell him how she really felt and reclaim some control of their narrative.
Emboldened by opportunity, Emma stood so she could face Ryan properly as Will sat back to watch, a pleased smirk on his face. It was rather fun to have a hype man.
She looked up into her ex-fiancé’s exasperated eyes and declared, “Whether you’re willing to admit it or not, I know you came over here to prove to yourself that you haven’t done anything wrong. That you aren’t the villain in this story but some sort of benevolent fortune teller who prevented a disaster by leaving me with no explanation. I want to tell you right now,none of that is true. Yes, I am moving on. But you don’t get to take credit for that. You don’t get to blow up my world and then take ownership over the renovation.Iam the reason I am going to be okay. Not you.”
“I never said—”
“I’m not done,” Emma replied. She took a deep breath to help nail the landing. “I need you to understand that I am not mad at you because you broke up with me. People are allowed to leave relationships if they don’t serve them anymore, that’s couples therapy 101. I am mad at you because you had so little regard for my feelings that you didn’t even involve me in yourdecision. You didn’t give me a chance to work on whatever you secretly decided I needed to work on. And you didn’t have the courage to stick around, even for a second, to help me pick up the pieces of the life we built together. The moment you determined I wasn’t the ‘right’ girl for you was the moment my existence and emotional well-being no longer mattered because all you care about is yourself. Andthat, Ryan, is why you are a piece of shit who doesn’t deserve to sleep at night. No matter what your doting mommy tells you.”
“Fuck yeah!” a woman’s voice rang out.
Emma turned to see that half of the brewery was staring at her and Ryan, completely engrossed in their drama. The table right next to them, serendipitously filled with college-aged girls in sorority T-shirts, even started to clap. Will immediately joined in, along with about a dozen other people.
Emma felt a swell of pride as Ryan turned bright red. Unsure of what to do, he made a break for the exit as some people cheered his departure, leaving his boss alone and confused. It was the kind of public humiliation that would normally make Emma feel racked with guilt. Right now, though, she felt too good to feel bad.