Page 97 of A Curse of Breath and Blood

“This one first,” Caiden pulled a leatherbound book from the shelf and handed it to me. I swallowed hard before opening it.

The first day we met.

My hair was a brown mess of curls tied together in a bun on the top of my head. I had just finished riding. Through Caiden’s eyes, I looked like a goddess. His pulse quickened, and my chest felt light. He smiled at me.I erased the memory.

My heart shattered. I couldn’t do this. This history belonged to both of us—but I had to.

Releasing a breath, I pressed on, erasing our adventures together as emissaries and the holidays at the River House. Every memory rewritten took a piece of my heart with it: all the kisses, the hugs, the stolen glances—all gone.

Our memories intertwined. It killed me to wipe them away.

I stumbled upon the memory of my wedding day. As an emissary, he was obligated to attend. He arrived late, entering through the rear of the throne room, likely hoping to avoid me. However, we collided as I waited to be escorted down the aisle. It was an odd feeling to revisit a memory shared with someone else, seeing and feeling it from their perspective.

Dressed in a high-necked ball gown, a white veil covered my face. Caiden’s heart went cold when he saw me. Tears poured down my face. I had never felt more alone than on that day. None of my family could come to the wedding as my father had just died, and they feared leaving the Midlands unattended.

Reaching out, he grabbed my hand. We shared one last moment.

“You’ll always be my princess,” he whispered before the guards escorted him away.

Those simple words carried me through the darkest days of my life. I should have thanked him for that. He’ll never know how he helped me.

With tears in my eyes, I wiped the memory away.

Taking another breath, we entered the darkest part of our past.

The hard memories were easy to erase.

“I never loved you. You are nothing to me. I never want to see you again.”

I wish I could erase who I was then. So full of hate and vitriol—a rabid dog who attacked anyone who got near me. I wish I could take those memories from my mind, but they were a part of me—a lesson I needed to learn.

We reached the most recent memories. I took them all—the Court of Sorrows, the cave trolls, the nights we spent entwined in each other’s arms.

Back in the library of his mind, Caiden gave me a half-hearted smile. “This is it. The last memory.”

He handed me a few pages containing our memories from the morning.

Tears welled in my eyes. This was all that remained of us. Just a few pages. Already Caiden’s mind closed in on me, no longer recognizing me as a friend, but as an intruder.

“I’m sorry,” I said, lighting the papers on a nearby candle.

“You’ll always be my princess,” he said as the look on his face transformed from sadness to neutrality.

I blew out the candle, cloaking myself in darkness. He wouldn’t know me from a stranger on the street.

When I opened my eyes, they’d already blindfolded Caiden. I snuck out of the room on padded feet before taking refuge in an intricately carved alcove, letting out the hot cry boiling in my chest.

From a balcony high in the Alder Palace, I watched Lucius and Roderick load Caiden into a carriage. The process made us both weak, and it took all my energy to climb up the massive circular staircase. I kept my gaze fixed on Caiden until the carriage disappeared, yearning for one final glimpse of him before he vanished forever.

Lowering myself to the wooden floor, the weight of grief pressed down on my very being. Tears flowed freely. I cursed the Trinity, the Fates, and every force that seemed to conspire against Caiden and me. My breath seared in my lungs.

I screamed until my lungs crackled like the embers of a fire.

Closing my eyes, I allowed the flood of emotions to engulf me—a teaching from the Trinity, a trial of my resilience. Caiden had departed, taking my vow of sobriety with him. The temptation to surrender to a blissful numbness and never resurface overpowered me, but I couldn’t yield to it. I had Baylis to consider and refused to be a victim any longer.

A hand decorated with golden rings extended toward me. I looked up to see Tharan standing in front of me.

“You look like you could use a drink.” He gripped my wrist, pulling me to my feet.

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