Page 40 of The Hermit on the Hill

She gave me a look that said she didn't believe me for a second.

"Fine. My childhood was shitty in a lot of ways. I've always wanted a family of my own, a big one, but I wanted to do it right. I wanted to have my life together and find the right woman and get married and have a bunch of babies." Her face was so close to mine, her expression so sad and earnest, all I wanted to do was kiss those sweet lips and every tear on her cheeks. "Having a baby with a woman who barely tolerates me and could decide to take him away and keep me from him…" I took a moment to ca tch my breath. "That's the nightmare, baby. Not you being the mother of our child. Not the child who's on the way."

She sniffled. "This isn't what I wanted, either." Her voice was small and tight, like this was hard for her to discuss. "I know it sounds like I'm trying to undo sixty years of progress when I say this, but I've always wanted to be a stay at home mom." She whispered the last four words like they were dirty. "I wanted to be married to a good man and have a stable life that allowed me to be home with my seven or eight kids."

"Seven or eight?" My smile felt worn and creaky. "Seriously?"

Finally, she smiled. A genuine smile, and I couldn't help squeezing her hips. "Maybe not that many. But I'm from a big family. I often felt I got lost in the shuffle, but I miss the noise and the laughter and never, ever being alone."

"But you have this fancy degree and this amazing job. You'd give it all up?"

"In a heartbeat." Her lips twisted to the side. "I'd still read and research, I might even write. Maybe I'd learn everything there is to know about parenting, or gardening, or maybe I'd write a children's book. I'd still be me, but my focus would shift. I had parents who couldn't be home with us when we were young because they had to work really hard to keep food on the table. When my mother could finally spend time with us, it felt like she didn't know me at all." She gasped and held up a hand. "Not that I think working parents can't be amazing parents. I'm not saying that at all. My experience was as much a product of the personalities of my parents as of the fact they had to work around the clock and there was never enough money."

I pressed a kiss to her nose without thinking it through. Her mild panic that I might think she was condemning or judging working parents was adorable. "It's okay," I said to her wide-eyed, shocked expression. "I understand because I feel the same. You want your kids to have something different from what you had."

She nodded, relaxing in my arms. "Yes. Exactly. But also…" She licked her lips, and I pressed mine to hers. It was just a quick peck, because she was irresistible.

"I can't think when you do that," she said.

"Yes, you can. You're always thinking, professor. Tell me what else. Tell me why you want to be a mom."

"That's pretty much it. When I was little, I took care of my brothers and sisters sometimes and I always knew that what I wanted to be more than anything else in the world was a mom. I want to be with my kids for every single wonderful moment and every single horrible one. But I was careless and now I won't get to have that. I'm going to have to work." She got off my lap and stood, straightening her dress. "So I get what you were saying about this being your nightmare scenario. I'm just sorry it worked out this way."

I stood with her, but I bent my knees so I could look her in the face. "Never be sorry, Jenna. I'm just grateful you're going to allow me to be a part of our baby's life."

She didn't quite meet my eyes when she nodded. "I'll have a paternity test done, Sam. I haven't been with anyone since you, but I understand you need to be sure."

She grabbed her purse and walked out of the dressing room. I didn't stop her. I didn't need a paternity test, but it would be one more thing stopping her from keeping our baby from me if it ever came to that, and it would convince Brittany that Jenna wasn't conning me.

I grabbed the striped dress and all the rest of the clothes Jenna had tried on and liked and carried them to the register. I didn't need proof of paternity to know I'd do everything in my power to give Jenna everything she wanted.

***

"I'm going to pay you back for all those clothes," Jenna said for the ten millionth time as she sat on the exam table waiting for the ultrasound tech to come in and show us our baby.

I stared at my phone, blatantly ignoring her as I had every other time she'd said the same thing, but also to give myself more time.

Her obstetrician had played the baby's heartbeat for us, and everything had suddenly become very real. There was an actual tiny person growing inside Jenna and, when that tiny person came out, he was going to need me to be a grown-up who had all his shit together. I was going to have to ramp up my plans for Catalpa Creek to an impossible speed.

"He hides it well," Brittany said. "But my brother is a caretaker at heart. He has tons of money, so just let him do it. He pouts like a toddler when he doesn't get his way."

I narrowed my eyes at my sister, but luckily a knock on the door kept me from saying something I'd probably regret.

"Hi, there." The ultrasound tech, a serious blond woman in scrubs, walked in and offered Jenna her hand. "I'm Marilyn, and I'm going to get you three some photos of your baby."

"Oh." Brittany popped to her feet. "We aren't a throuple. They're together. I'm the aunt. Just here for a picture of my nephew."

I bit my lip not to laugh at the wide-eyed, shocked expression on Jenna's face.

Marilyn showed no more reaction than raised brows. "I make no judgments and no assumptions."

"Oh, I wouldn't be embarrassed to admit it if we were a throuple. I'm sure most throuples work great, it just wasn't—"

"Brittany," Jenna said. "You okay?"

Brittany pressed a hand to her stomach and shook her head. "Um, no? I think I'll wait for you outside. I need some air."

My amusement vanished at the genuine worry and sadness on my sister's face. She brushed past me and out of the room and I couldn't follow her because Jenna was my family now, too.

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