Page 71 of The Hermit on the Hill

I looked away, hand over my aching heart, thumb tapping my pectoral muscle. She deserved to know that her family would be okay. "No. The payout isn't worth the possible blow back."

"How long will you be in Wyoming?"

"For the foreseeable future. I'll support you and our son financially, but that's all I can offer."

She stared at me, anger making her eyes flame and her cheeks redden.

Thank god.

If she'd cried, I don't think I could have gone through with this.

"You've just come to this conclusion today?" Her words were sharp, but soft underneath. I hated the sympathy seeping out of her. I didn't deserve it. "Are you seriously going to run away and abandon your son just because a few people in town are angry?"

"It's not a few people," I roared.

She flinched, and I shoved my emotions down deep and focused on what had to be done. Like excising a tumor from healthy flesh, I would excise myself from her life.

"The truth is that I tried to build a relationship with you for our son, because I wanted him to grow up in a two-parent home. I like you, Jenna. I'm even attracted to you. But you are not the woman I would choose for myself if I was free to choose."

She lifted her chin, but I could see the hurt all over her face. She didn't hide it from me.

I'd done that to her. Me. Not the people in town.

"I don't believe you."

"Do you want a husband who's only pretending to care about you?"

"The fact you're doing this now proves how much you care about me. You think you're protecting me and our son, but the people in town will get over their anger once they realize—"

"No." My voice was an angry bark. I was furious that I had to do this to Jenna. To myself. I was angry at the town, at the investors, but most of all I was furious at myself for ever thinking I could have my revenge and Jenna. "You don't know this town the way I do. You don't know how easily they'll shun anyone who they've decided doesn't belong. I know firsthand how long their memories are, how unwilling they are to forgive." I forced myself to meet her gaze, to let her see the truth in mine, even as I lied. "I tried to make myself care for you and for our son, but today I realized I can't force something I don't feel."

"That's not true. I'm furious with you for lying to me, Sam, and I wish you could have trusted me with the truth. But those are things we can work through together. Your son deserves to have you in his life, and I want you in mine."

"It doesn't matter if it's true." I stared into her eyes, steeling myself for the lie that would break us both. She'd be okay. Better than okay once she got over me. She'd meet someone else, someone who knew how to fit in and win over the town, and she'd be happier than she'd have ever been with me. "I don't love you, Jenna, and I never will. We aren't a good match."

She narrowed her eyes. "You're lying."

"You want to know why I'm doing this today, Jenna?" I asked, bringing out the words I'd hoped I wouldn't have to use. Why did she have to be so fucking loyal and understanding? "Because this was supposed to be easy. I might never love you, but you never needed to know that. All I had to be was a good father and partner. Today, seeing how the townspeople turned against you and your family because of me made this whole thing we've got going on complicated, and my first instinct was to just get the fuck out of this town and never come back. I was ready to leave you without ever saying goodbye. I'd get on that plane, and I wouldn't think of you again. That's how little I care about you. That's how easily I can walk away."

"I love you, Sam." Her voice cracked over the words. "You can lie all you want. You can take the easy way out and run, but I know you love me, too. I felt it in the way you kissed me, in the way you listened when I talked, in the way you would do anything to make me happy. I refuse to make this easy on you by pretending to believe your lie."

Her words nearly broke me. If I hadn't been sitting, my knees would have given out and I would have hit the floor.

Jenna Reynolds loved me.

God, I wished I was the kind of man who deserved her love.

"I'm sorry if this hurts you now." I'd be sorry for the rest of my damn life. "But we're never going to be anything more than two people with really great chemistry in bed." I got to my feet. I needed to get out of there. "My flight leaves in two hours. Marcus will help you pack and move back into your apartment over the bakery with Jared. I expect you to be gone by the time I get back in three days."

"You're going to Wyoming now?"

"No. I'm going to see my great uncle in Las Vegas. He's been asking for my help with a business deal for months. Now seems like the perfect time to go."

Her hands were tight fists as she stood. I wished she'd hit me. "The perfect time to escape."

"Exactly. I'm glad you understand. Please don't try to get in touch with me."

"Fuck you, Sam. Whether you're lying to me or lying to yourself, you're a fucking coward."

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