Page 75 of The Hermit on the Hill

My smile grew slowly, starting in my chest and growing to sheer giddiness. "Brittany?"

"No." He snorted. "Someone I actually stand a chance with. Lola at the bakery."

I wanted to argue with him, because I'd seen the way Brittany looked at him when he wasn't paying attention, but he'd just get defensive and clam up if I pushed. He wasn't kidding about his boundaries.

"Of course I'll help you."

It would be a great way to get my mind off Sam.

***

I snuck off for a moment alone after the shower games and the gifts. I'd gotten a ton of adorable outfits and useful items, plus a library of books. Maybe my family knew me better than I'd given them credit for.

I'd done a decent job pretending to be surprised when Jared and I had walked in the second time, and I'd been sociable for almost two hours. I deserved a break. My brothers had all left as soon as the surprise was done. I would have been fine with them staying, but Mom had insisted this was not a co-ed shower. I think she was trying to protect my feelings, but her insistence somehow made me feel worse.

I missed Sam. He would hate this shower, but he would have stood by me and participated. Okay, he might not have played the shower games, but he would have been here. I'd never had someone by my side who wasn't family, and I'd gotten stuck on envisioning a future where Sam was my best friend and lover, the person I could always count on.

Seeing Brittany had been harder than I'd expected, but she'd been beyond kind. She hadn't even mentioned Sam, and we'd made plans for her to visit her nephew after he was born.

I snuck into one of the kid's rooms for alone time. They wouldn't care. I sank onto the bed, let my smile fall, and just breathed.

Everyone wanted me to be okay, to be over my heartbreak, and excited about the baby, so that's what I'd been. No point in being a downer at my own party.

Now, my cheeks ached and my feet hurt, and voices rang in my head as conversations replayed, twanging on my nerves.

A light tap at the door almost sent me under the bed to hide, but I shouted for whoever it was to come in.

My mother slipped inside, a big smile on her face, but I lacked the energy to smile back.

"This has been a beautiful shower," I said. "I just needed a break from all the socializing."

"I'm glad to get the chance to chat with you alone." Mom closed the door and sat next to me on the bed. "I've been so busy out there I was afraid you might leave before I gave you your gift."

"I wouldn't do that." Though I'd been beyond tempted.

She patted my back. "I understand you're sad about Sam, honey, but I will support you every step of the way, through this pregnancy and beyond. You can't see it now, but you're probably better off without that man in—"

I held up a hand. "I appreciate you, Mom, and everything you've done for me, but please don't badmouth Sam. He's still my son's father."

"It's just that I know how you are, Jenna. You're too kindhearted for your own good, sometimes. You never have been able to see the big picture."

"I see everything I need to see." And then, because I was exhausted and sad and worried, I narrowed my eyes. "I don't want you second-guessing every decision I make. Not now and not after this baby is born. All I need you to do is trust me and stand by me when I need you."

She stared at me for a few long moments, her shock evident. "I'm your mother and I love you. I can't just turn that off."

Unsurprised, I nodded and stood. I just needed some space.

She put a hand on my arm. "I'll try not to interfere or overstep. But I need you to stop taking everything I say to heart. You've always been far too sensitive about any sort of criticism."

"Of course I am when the criticism comes from my mother. I respect your opinion, Mom. But when I do things your way, I'm making you happy, not me."

She threw up her hands. "So ignore me. We're both adults. I'll try not to overstep and you feel free to ignore me if I do. It's a time-honored tradition between mothers and daughters."

There was no stopping the laugh that bubbled up out of me. I hugged my frustrating, interfering, stubborn mother. "I don't know what's going to happen between me and Sam, but I'll never keep him from his son and I won't have you saying anything negative about Sam to our child."

She let out a long breath. "I won't. But I'll be here for you if you figure out he's never been the right man for you."

I patted her back and bit my tongue. Apparently, this was where the ignoring her part of our deal came in. "Love you, Mom."

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