Page 43 of The Deadbeat Next Door

“Smitten? Who are you and what have you done with my rude, abrasive neighbor?”

I laughed. “Apparently, he’s switched bodies with his sexy schoolteacher neighbor. Please tell me all the ways you think George is a douche.”

“Um, well he hit on me three separate times with you either right there or in the next room. What kind of guy hits on another man’s fiancée?”

I shrugged. “A man who thinks you’re only pretending to be engaged?”

“Which he tried to get me to admit several times. I don’t like games and I don’t like subterfuge…Current predicament notwithstanding. Either he believes we’re engaged and hit on me anyway, or he was trying to get me to admit we were only pretending so he could run back to his granddad and tattle. Either way, he’s kind of a douche. Not to mention that his jokes were a lot funnier when I was seventeen.”

“His bad jokes are my good fortune,” I said. “Come inside and I’ll tell you what Bart said.”

She looked over her shoulder at Betty’s house. Betty wasn’t outside on the porch, since it was after eight, but she was likely peeking through the blinds. “Yeah, I’ll come in for a bit.”

I led her inside and sat on the couch next to her. I was careful not to touch her now that we were alone. That just felt like asking for trouble. “Bart will sell me the property in one month, assuming you and I haven’t broken up before then.”

“One month?” Her eyes widened. “As in four weeks?”

I was confused, but I figured she was in shock, so I didn’t roll my eyes or ask if she’d hit her head. “Yes. Thirty-one days. He also suggested we live together.”

She nodded, her expression thoughtful. “Yeah, that makes sense.”

I stared at her. “The month deadline shocks you, but you’re okay with living together?”

“Well, I’m not okay with it,” she said. “But it makes sense. If I was engaged to someone, I’d be at his place or he’d be at mine every night. Don’t you think?”

“I’ve never had a relationship longer than a week, so I’m probably not the best judge.”

She shook her head and bit down on a smile. “I also think we should have sex.”

I tried to take in the words she’d just said, but I felt a bit like I’d been kicked in the nuts. “No, no, no. That’s a really, really bad idea. If we have sex, you’ll get attached and then the break-up will become a real break-up and you’ll cry and I’ll have to punch myself and shit will get ugly.”

She rolled her eyes. “Why do men think they have the magic cock that will make women fall in love with them?”

She said a whole bunch of stuff after that, but I was stuck on the word cock rolling from between her perfect, cupid’s bow lips. I had no idea she had such a filthy mouth and of course my cock was magic, that was why women…Holy shit, I didn’t exactly have women lining up begging me for more after they’d experienced my cock, with the tragic exception of Rachel Goldsmith. I’d always thought it was because I told them how it was going to be and they accepted that, but what if the problem was I was terrible in bed?

Carrie snapped her fingers in front of my face. “Have you heard a word I just said?”

“Not really.”

She huffed. “My body is attracted to a complete and utter moron.”

“Hey. That moron is sitting right here.”

She shrugged. “I’m honestly not that concerned about your feelings, Cody. Here’s the deal, I’m attracted to you and you’re attracted to me. I’ve had the longest dry spell known to man and I would really love for it to end. There’s no danger of either of us falling in love with the other so why don’t we just do it and get it out of our system. Then the sexual tension will dissipate, we’ll realize just how incompatible we really are for one another and we can treat this like the business arrangement it is.”

“You’re okay with the month deadline?”

“As long as you agree to be my sex slave? Yes, I am.”

I couldn’t match this brazen, open Carrie with the Carrie I’d known who didn’t talk about sex to me, ever. “Are you high right now?”

She scooted closer to me and put a hand on my thigh. “Nope. Just sick of all the games and bullshit. I’ve tried dating the right way, I’ve looked for the right guy, and I’ve followed all the rules. Clearly, having fun and reliving my twenties is a bad idea in public, but in private…”

I was having a really, really hard time focusing on anything but her lips and where I’d most like to feel them first. I wrapped my hand around the nape of her neck, but my conscience stopped me. “One more thing.”

“Yeah,” she said, her voice breathy, her eyes on my lips.

“We’re going out of town this weekend. My mother wants to meet you.”

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