CHAPTER SEVEN

Dilly

It was official, I was losing my mind. I walked the three blocks to the local park, feeling groggy and tired and unable to shake the dreams I’d had the night before. Dreams of Oscar’s hands on my bare skin, his deep voice resonating through me as he massaged my skin, the heat that rushed over me as his hands moved lower and he touched me in ways that made me want.

It wouldn’t be so bad if it was just dreams, but every time he walked toward our house my heart skittered. He petted Buddy and I imagined his strong hands on me. He smiled, and I imagined his lips on me. I wanted him, more than I’d wanted anyone in a very, very long time, just when he’d made it clear he wanted space or…Okay, I didn’t know exactly what his message was, but I got the general idea. He wanted to spend less time together, not more.

“Dilly!” Mary shrieked, racing over to me, her feet bare, her elderly form fit and looking great in slim-fitting sweatpants and a t-shirt. “You finally made it.”

I was surprised to see that I wasn’t the youngest of the group spread out on the lawn. There were several other people my age and a range of ages stretching from younger than me to Mary’s generation. “I’m here, but I’m barely conscious.”

“You look flushed, dear. How are things with that new neighbor of yours? Oscar?”

His name on her lips made me start. Why did she bring him up in the same sentence as her mention of me being flushed? Did she know how I felt? I shook it off. Of course, she didn’t. “He’s great. I’ve adopted a dog and Oscar’s helping me out with him.”

She smiled. “He really is the sweetest, isn’t he? He’d make someone a fine husband.”

“I don’t think he’s looking to settle down any time soon.” But I couldn’t deny he had a live-in girlfriend, which would hint at him absolutely being ready to settle down. And that pinch in my chest was from the too-early exertion of my walk.

She tapped my nose. “Never underestimate the power of love, my dear.”

Either it was way too early, or Mary was making no sense. “Should we join the group? It looks like they’re about ready to start.”

“They won’t start without me. I’m the teacher.”

I stopped and looked at her. “Really? You never told me.”

She smiled. “I have all kinds of secrets. Keeps me young.”

I followed her to the group, but she stopped at the back and faced me. “Stay after for a few moments if you can, dear. I want to speak to you about something.”

“Of course.” My heart sank. Ever since Carrie had mentioned my mother, I’d had a bad feeling that it was going to get harder to keep our secret. My mother had been a respected member of our community once, with lots of friends, but she’d started to pull away after my father died. By the time she’d secluded herself completely, not too many people asked questions. She’d begged me not to tell anyone the truth, and I’d started my career as a liar, coming up with a wide range of reasonable excuses for why my mother wasn’t around. After a while, people had stopped asking, but that didn’t mean they’d forgotten and, if they got a whiff of something going on, which they apparently had, they wouldn’t let it go so easily.

Mary moved to the front of the group and led the class in a series of movements that looked much easier than they actually were. They weren’t impossible, but the workout wasn’t the simple one I’d expected. I found myself enjoying the challenge, as well as Mary’s constant commentary and joking. Sometimes it was hard to hold a position because I was trying so hard not to laugh.

The sun moved higher over us, and the day warmed, bringing with it the scent of flowers and buzz of bees. When the class ended and the rest of the group moved on, I walked over to Mary, my heart pounding with fear. Would this be the day my secret was exposed? Would this be the day the town judged me and my mother for the choices we’d made? “What did you think?” Mary said cheerfully.

“It was a lot of fun. You’re a great teacher.”

Her grin was huge. “You really think so?”

“I do. Really. Just don’t take it personally if I don’t come back. This is way too early in the morning for me.”

“You must be exhausted taking care of your mother.”

My heart sank, and my blood went cold. “My mother?”

She nodded. “Melly told me she’s ill, that you’ve been over there all the time taking care of her. Since Melly is overseas, she asked me and Norma Jane and the others to look out for you, make sure you aren’t killing yourself taking care of her.”

I forced a smile onto my face. What the hell was Melly up to? “Mom just has a bad cold. It’s nothing serious. I’ve hardly been over there at all.”

Concern creased her face. “You have bags under your eyes, Daffodil Thompkins.”

“I’m not a morning person. You know that.”

She shook her head. “It’s more than that, child. Why won’t you ever let anyone help you? Why do you insist on shutting yourself off from the world?”

That touched on a sensitive point. I didn’t shut myself away, that’s what my mother did. I pushed myself to make sure I never backed down from anything that scared me, from any experience that might make my life fuller. I went out of my way to socialize and be a part of the world. “I don’t ask for help, Mary, because I don’t need it. My life is just about perfect.”