Page 37 of The Good Guy on My Porch

She clasped her hands together in her lap. “Thank you, Dilly. It helps me more than you can know to be able to rest without worrying someone’s holding a gun to your head.”

“I’ll be by for dinner.”

“Why don’t you just stay here with me? It would save you a trip and if there’s anyone out there…”

“I have to go home.” My skin itched like it was too tight and my heart pumped with panic. I remembered far too vividly the time my mother had locked me in my room to keep me safe. She’d left me there for two days before I’d escaped from her for good. I wouldn’t be trapped again. “I have…I have to babysit for Carrie this afternoon. We wouldn’t want her kids going to school when you’re having one of your bad feelings about a mass shooting.” I crossed my fingers behind my back that she wasn’t aware that it was spring break or that Carrie and the kids were out of town.

“Of course, dear,” she said. “Good thinking. But shouldn’t Carrie stay home as well?”

“You’re absolutely right. I’ll head over there now to convince her.”

My mother’s brow twisted in confusion. “Won’t she already be at school? I don’t want you in that place. It’s far too dangerous.”

“I’ll call her,” I said, pulling out my cell phone. “I’ll leave right now and call her, but I should be at home in case she just sends the kids home and needs me to watch them.”

“Okay, Dilly. Just let me know when you’re home.”

“I’ll call as soon as I get there. Don’t forget, though, I’m walking, so it will take me sixteen minutes to get there.”

She nodded, glancing at the clock on the microwave. “Sixteen minutes. I love you, baby.”

“I love you, too,” I said, my heart cracking. Her attention didn’t budge from the clock as I left and shut the door. I listened as the locks clicked into place behind me. Then, I set the timer on my phone, and I started walking. My mother had always been difficult, but I could no longer deny that she was far worse than she had been.

My timer went off right outside the coffee shop in downtown Catalpa Creek. I stopped, stepped to the side, and pulled my phone from my pocket. “I’m home,” I said, as soon as she answered. “I got here just fine.”

“Did you see anyone suspicious?”

“No. I didn’t see anyone suspicious, though a squirrel did give me a strange look when I walked by.”

“This isn’t funny, Daffodil Thompkins. Your safety is very important.”

“I know. I’m fine, Momma. I’m home and I’m safe and you have nothing to worry about. I’ll see you tonight for dinner.”

“I think it would be best if you stayed home tonight, dear. I don’t want you risking yourself to come see me again. You just stay in your house, and don’t leave for anything.”

I hated the relief that pulsed through me. Hated that I was happy to be avoiding my mother. “Okay, some other time, then.”

I hung up after only about ten more reassurances that I was home and safe, the stove wasn’t on, and I didn’t have any appliances near water. I spun to the sidewalk, dying for the coffee I’d buy inside, and came face to face with Oscar.

He didn’t look happy and I was certain he’d heard at least some of my phone conversation. His hair was messy, but he looked good, even with his lips set in a firm line of unhappiness. I wanted to taste those lips, to wrap myself around him and feel his hands on my skin, to let the feel and taste of him wash away my entire morning, until there was only him and me. The thought took me by such surprise and filled me with such longing, I found it hard to catch my breath for a moment.

“Hi, Oscar. On your way inside for coffee?”

He held up a large cup. “Already got it? Everything okay?”

“Everything’s great,” I said. “I just need to get some coffee and get to work before I’m late.”

I tried to sidle past him, to live in the fantasy where he’d heard nothing of my phone call, but he blocked my path and put a hand on my arm. The heat from his hand made me tingle all over, but the serious concern on his face made my stomach flip. “Were you on the phone with your boyfriend?”

“No,” I said, horrified that he would think that. I went back over the things he might have overheard and tried to piece together a likely story. I forced a laugh. “No, of course not. Jerome would never…No, I was talking to my grandmother. You know how grandmothers are…” I swung a hand in the air, pretending a casualness I didn’t feel. “She worries about everything.”

His concern didn’t fade, not even a little bit. “If he’s hurting you or—”

“No.” I was starting to get annoyed. And yes, I realized how hypocritical it was of me to get annoyed that he wasn’t believing my blatant lie, but I just wanted a break. I just wanted him to be the solid support I’d come to expect. “Honestly, Oscar, I was talking to my grandmother.” I pulled my phone back out and handed it to him. “Hit redial on the last call and she’ll answer.”

He looked at my phone and took a step back, thankfully not taking me up on my bluff. “I’m sorry, Dilly. I don’t know why I…” He shook his head. “I shouldn’t have intruded on your phone call.” He took two more steps back and I felt like the worst kind of person. I was the worst kind of person. He was reasonably concerned about me and I was actually lying to him. He shouldn’t be the one feeling bad in this situation. But I couldn’t tell him the truth, I just…I couldn’t. I’d been lying too long for anyone to ever forgive me at this point, especially Oscar.

“It’s okay.”

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