Page 66 of The Good Guy on My Porch

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Dilly

I woke up in Oscar’s arms, as I had for the past several nights, and it still felt like the best thing ever. I opened my eyes and studied his face, sleeping, peaceful. He was so handsome all the time, but I loved him best when he was awake and talking, laughing. His face was so expressive, and I loved…I loved…Oh, shit. I loved him. My heart felt like it was going to pound out of my chest and my stomach flipped. This was bad, it was so, so bad. One promise I’d made myself years ago was that I’d never fall in love, I’d never allow myself to become so dependent on anyone that losing them could destroy me the way losing my father had destroyed my mother. And the chances of my losing him, in the very near future, were high.

He’d accepted the news about me being a liar and my mother being mentally ill so well. He’d been so understanding, but he didn’t really know…My mother had been relaxed this week, easy. The calm before the storm. Would he be able to handle it when she was difficult? When she demanded all my time? No one ever had before, no matter how much they’d claimed to care about me and I hadn’t…I hadn’t loved any of them. I might have had plans for the future with them, but I’d never felt this overwhelming need and love for any of them.

With Oscar, I wasn’t thinking about the future, I was thinking about right now. I was thinking about how much I’d miss him while I was at work and how much I’d look forward to seeing his face when I got home. How curling up in his arms and chatting with him while he held me would be the very best part of my day.

His beautiful eyes opened, and he smiled at me. “Good morning.”

And it hurt, it hurt like my chest was being ripped open, because it was so perfect and wonderful that I knew it couldn’t be real, that it couldn’t last. He must have seen it on my face, because his smile faded, and his sleepy expression went alert. “Are you okay?”

I forced a smile and I lied to him. “I’m wonderful.” Because everyone loves a happy, easy-going person and no one wants the doom and gloom that was my life. Oscar didn’t deserve it, not when he’d made me so happy. He didn’t deserve the difficulties of my mother’s illness and he didn’t deserve to be burdened with me if I should ever become sick like Mom. I wrapped myself around him and kissed him. We couldn’t last, but I was going to make sure I enjoyed every moment that was left no matter the risk to my heart and my sanity.

He kissed me back and the kiss quickly heated to lava-hot levels. That was the way it always was with us, one touch, one kiss and we went nuclear. Luckily, we were still naked from the night before, so he was inside me and working his magic over me in a matter of moments. I loved the passion, the heat, the way we moved together so perfectly, and he knew all my most sensitive spots as though he were a mind reader.

Once we were both sated, I pecked his lips and climbed out of bed to dress. “Do you have to leave already?”

“I need a shower before work,” I said.

“Stay and we can shower together.”

I looked over at him. The sheet was covering his lower half, but just barely, and his gorgeous body was more than a little tempting. “I have an early meeting with my boss, otherwise I’d be all over that offer.”

He sat up and his eyes narrowed. “Is everything okay?”

“As far as I know. Why? Did you hear something?” I’d never had any problems with my boss and no reason to think there was a problem, but she rarely called me in for a meeting, so I wasn’t exactly indifferent to the possibility of doom.

“You just don’t seem like yourself this morning. I thought you might be worried about something.”

Damn it. Why was he so perceptive? “Maybe I am a little worried, but I’m sure it’s nothing.”

“Text me after and let me know how it went.”

Why was he so sweet? I leaned over, gave him one more kiss, one that got way hotter and heavier than I’d intended, somehow managed to pull myself away from him, and headed back to my place with Buddy at my heels.

I let Buddy wander around the front yard and do his business while I tried to calm down. I pulled in deep breaths and reminded myself that everything was going to be okay. So, I was in love with Oscar. So what? Yeah, it would hurt when our relationship ended, but it would be okay. I’d survive. I wouldn’t allow myself to crumble like my mother had. I just needed to enjoy what I could with Oscar and keep my heart out of it as much as possible.

I looked to the mountains and let the beauty and peace of the view wash over me. It would be okay. I would be okay.

Buddy, finished with his morning business, trotted over to me and licked my hand. “Thanks, sweetheart,” I said. “You want some breakfast?”

He followed me inside and I got him his breakfast. I was too nervous about the meeting, suddenly, to eat, so I showered, dressed, got Buddy settled, and headed out. I called my mother before I went into the coffee shop, got my coffee and, before I was ready for it, found myself seated in my boss’s office.

Sheila smiled at me warmly. She was about ten years older than me, dedicated to her job, and kind. She was dressed in business casual, her hair in a high pony tail on her head, her make-up so perfect I wanted to ask her to help me do my own. “How are you doing, Dilly? I’ve heard nothing but good from our older patrons and from the staffs at the local nursing homes.”

“I’m doing well,” I said, relief washing over me. If she was going to fire me, surely she wouldn’t compliment me first. “I love this job so much. The outreach program is a perfect fit for me.”

“I agree. You’ve come up with so many wonderful new ideas and innovations for the programs. You are the heart and soul of the outreach program and I couldn’t be happier with the job you’re doing.” She paused, and her smile grew. “In fact, that’s why I called you in here early to talk to you. You’ve been invited to speak at the annual ALA conference this June. They want you to share your experiences and information about your programs.”

My heart sank. “Where is the conference this year?”

Her smile slipped just a bit. “It’s in New Orleans. I know you said you couldn’t travel for work, but this is an enormous honor. If it’s flying that’s a problem—”

“It’s not flying,” I said. “I have…It’s my mother, Sheila. She’s not well and I can’t leave her.”

“You wouldn’t be expected to attend the whole conference. You could fly in, give your speech, and fly back out all in one day.”

---