Page 77 of The Good Guy on My Porch

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

Oscar

I hurried out of the house, locked the door behind me, and started for the stairs, my mind on the day ahead and on…I looked up and saw her. She was walking toward the house, her head bowed, her shoulders slumped, her steps shuffling. I wanted to ask what was wrong, wanted to wrap my arms around her and hug her until she smiled. But I held back, because she’d asked me to keep my distance.

As I neared her, she looked up and forced a smile. Her face was drawn, and her eyes were red-rimmed. Worse than that was the defeat that shadowed her usual bright expression.

“Dilly.” I had no other words. I hated that she was hurting, but I didn’t know how to make it better for her. I wasn’t what she needed or wanted.

She forced a smile. “Good morning, Oscar. Thank you for taking Buddy out, I appreciate it.”

“Of course.” I wanted to tell her that I’d do so much more, that I’d give her everything I was and everything I had to somehow make this better for her, but she hurried past me. “I’m running late. See you later.”

She disappeared inside, and I walked away from her, even though each step felt like a mistake. I kept walking because it was what she wanted, and, if I was honest with myself, it was what I should want. I’d moved to Catalpa Creek for a simpler life. I shouldn’t want to get involved with her drama, and I couldn’t sit by and do nothing while I watched her throw her life away. I suspected she was only enabling her mother, allowing her to get worse by giving up her own freedom, but I knew she wouldn’t hear me if I tried to tell her that.

I unlocked the door to the spa and let myself in, flipping the sign to open. Then I walked the place and made sure everything was as it should be. I tried to focus on work, but I just kept seeing her sad and exhausted face, just kept thinking of her taking care of her mother alone, with no one to help her or make her smile at the end of a rough day.

She didn’t want me, I reminded myself, as I helped customers. But I couldn’t forget the way she’d smiled at me, the way she’d felt in my arms, coming apart at my touch. Whatever my brain said, my heart and my body and my instincts contradicted it. Deep down, I knew she wanted me, knew she might even love me, but none of that mattered if she kept pushing me away, if she wouldn’t let me love her.

By the end of the day, by the time I’d said goodbye to the last customer, I’d managed to push all thoughts of Dilly down deep, had started to let her go. It hurt, but it was necessary to my sanity.

I locked the door and started toward the street, but the ringing of my phone stopped me. Because I’d been thinking of her all day, I expected to see Dilly’s name on the caller ID, but it wasn’t her.

“Hey, Molls,” I said. “How are you feeling?”

“Still puking my guts up every morning. How are you?”

I walked down the street. “Hanging in there.”

“That doesn’t sound like my happy, free-spirited brother. Everything okay?”

I was in no mood to talk about myself. “What’s up, Mol?”

She sighed, knowing me well enough to know when not to push. “I was hoping you might be willing to fly out to Vegas tomorrow night to watch me get married.”

I stopped walking. Stunned. “Tomorrow? You couldn’t manage to give me any advance warning?”

“It was a fluke of our work schedules. We both have three days off at the same time. Mom and Dad will be there and everyone else is trying to get tickets. Except Ellie and Scott, because their kids have the stomach bug.”

I didn’t really have the cash set aside for last minute tickets to Vegas, but one of the reasons I’d left the corporate world was to have a more flexible schedule, the freedom to be present for life’s best and biggest moments. “If I can get someone to cover the desk at the spa, it shouldn’t be a problem. I’ll let you know as soon as I have the details.”

“I love you, big brother.” She made kissy sounds that made me smile. “Bring Dilly, too, if she can get away.”

I wasn’t going to ruin my sister’s moment with my bad news. “I’ll see if she can get away.” Even if we were still together, she wouldn’t be able to join me on the trip. Wouldn’t be able or willing to leave town to meet my family and see my little sister get married.

“Great,” Molly said with a little squeal of happiness. “I’m so excited.”

I hung up with her and felt…Relieved. It would be good to get away for a little while. Maybe while I was in Vegas, I could get over Dilly, maybe it wouldn’t hurt so much the next time I saw her.

I made a few calls as I walked and had someone to cover the front desk at the spa for a couple days by the time I reached the house.

Dilly was sitting on the porch, Buddy next to her. She smiled when she saw me. She looked tired, but worlds better than she had that morning. She was so fucking beautiful, and I ached to go to her, to wrap her in my arms, to kiss her. My feet moved me too fast down the walk, something like hope flaring as her smile widened.

“Hi,” she said. “How was work?”

How was work? She’d broken my heart and she wanted to act like nothing had changed? “Work was good.” I kept moving, forcing myself to walk past her, because I couldn’t do normal, couldn’t pretend everything between us was okay.

“Oscar.” I stopped with my hand on the door, the keys in my hand. I couldn’t turn and look at her, because I knew if I did I wouldn’t be able to say no to her and I needed to tell her no, needed to keep some space between us. “Want to sit with me and watch the sunset like we used to?”

“Not tonight. I’ve got some stuff I need to get done.” Namely buying plane tickets and packing.

“Okay.” I hated the sadness in her voice. I hated it, but this had been her choice. “I hope…I hope we can be friends.”

“I don’t want to be your friend, Dilly. I can’t be your friend.”

I knew how the words sounded, but I couldn’t take them back. Couldn’t un-say them because they were true.

I unlocked my door and went inside.

---